Confessions of a Marauder
by Celina Black
Summary: On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and experiences into it. With the help of his friends, this conceited prick goes on a mission to win over Lily. Now, if only he can deflate his head...
1. Chapter 1

**Confessions of a Marauder**

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_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

I have just been victimized.

I, James Randall Potter, am a _victim_ of a hideous, cruel crime.

**Quit the dramatics, Prongs.**

Dramatics? _Dramatics? _Obviously, the wrong-doer is unaware of the consequences of his dreadful actions.

Sirius Black, hereafter called the wrong-doer, has committed the crime of giving a bloody _diary _to his best friend. For the one reason that it was on sale.

Shocking, isn't it?

And let's add the fact that the best friend (me) is a popular, _seventeen year old boy_, and does not need a diary.

There are two types of people who keep diaries.

A. Mary-Janes: the preppy, perfect girl who finds it necessary to write down every detail of their perfect little lives in a pink, furry diary.

B. Complete Losers: people who, sadly, don't have a life, therefore are friendless. They seek a friend in a book, and often are seen angrily scribbling in said book after yet another person ignores them.

Notice that I am neither of these two.

I am a very-good looking boy surrounded by dozens of people who love me, including three best friends (actually two, since Sirius turned out to be a traitor) and girls who would die for a chance to _touch _me.

By seeing this evidence, it is obvious I am not type B.

Also, I don't have a perfect life, nor am I perfect. This confession, although difficult to admit, is true. I don't have:

A. The latest model of the Nimbus. (Nimbus 1972)

B. Perfect grades (I currently have five 'O's and one 'E'. Which is still pretty damn good)

C. A spotless record (I recently broke the record for most detentions)

D. The girl I have been I've fancied for six years.

The girl is none other than Lily Elizabeth Evans.

Words fail to describe her.

She's pretty, of course, but not beautiful. She has a striking sort of looks, the kind that you rarely see in a girl. At the same time, there are plenty other girls in Hogwarts who are far more beautiful. But their looks are…common somehow.

Her hair is dark red, sort of the color of red wine. It reaches just below her shoulders in a wavy, thick cascade. Her hair's incredibly silky looking.

I must ask her what shampoo she uses.

Her skin is nice, a light tan color, and she has average lips. Lily's about…five-six, and her body is average-y.

Still, her arse looks bloody fine in a skirt.

But what get most people's attention are her _eyes_. They're an arresting shade of green, a wonderful clear _green _that holds your attention, and refuses to let go.

Unfortunately, those haven't let go of me for over six years.

**Prongs. Earth to Prongs. Stop dreaming about Evans. You're drooling.**

Am not.

I am merely producing too much saliva, so it has escape through the crevices of my mouth.

But it's not drooling.

Bugger.

Lily just ran through the door of the Transfiguration classroom, apparently having woken up late.

It should be illegal to look that good after just waking up.

Her cheeks are flushed, and her hair is wind-blown. She apologizes to Professor McGonagall quickly.

"I'm sorry. I was helping a first year find his way."

An outrageous lie, but one the professor believes, since Evans acts like a perfect little angel around them.

Just after Lily, Peter waddles in, his round face pink.

His face, unlike Lily's, does not look attractive while flushed. It looks quite nasty, actually.

"Mr. Pettigrew! I will not tolerate any tardiness in my class room! Please take a seat next to Ms. Jacobsen." Professor McGonagall thundered.

Lily freezes.

Angela Jacobsen is her best friend, and exactly where she was headed.

And the only other empty seat is next to me.

_Thank you, Merlin._

Peter sits next to Angela, and sends a blushing smile her way, which she weakly returns. Her eyes catch Lily's and the two exchange glum looks.

"Miss Evans? Is there a problem?"

"Er…no."

"Then sit next to Mr. Potter."

Professor McGonagall has a faint smile on her face.

Could she be doing this on purpose?

Nah.

Lily heads towards me, with an expression of a person heading towards their executioner.

"Hi, Evans." I cheerily greet, ruffling my hair. My hair looks very attractive when ruffled, as most girls tell me.

"Fuck off."

Well. She doesn't have to be rude.

She sees my diary, and snorts, "You have a _diary_?"

Affronted, I return, "It's a journal. Not one of those frilly pink diaries you girls have to write down your _feelings_."

She stares at me.

"Sirius gave it to me. It was on sale." I explain.

A smile creeps onto her face, and she struggles to restrain from bursting into giggles. However, she fails and lets out a peal of laughter.

"Miss Evans?"

Lily is laughing too hard to answer.

"Mr. Potter, what happened _now_?"

I put on an innocent face, "The poor girl has gone mad from my dashingly good looks."

The class titters, and Lily stops, glaring, "Have _not_."

"She's in denial." I stage-whisper, and the class nods, a look of understanding on their faces.

Professor McGonagall barks, "As _amusing _as this is, we are here to learn!" She glares at me, and continues teaching.

Lily gives me a dirty look, and slumps into her chair, burying her head into her arms.

I see.

She's embarrassed because I know her secret.

_She fancies me_.

There's really nothing to be shy about. The other girls have no problem in admitting it.

**Prongs, I highly doubt she fancies you. Especially after the way you embarrassed her in front of the class.**

Psh. A lot he knows.

He doesn't know how girls think.

I send a smile her way, "It's OK to fancy me. After all, you could do a lot worse."

Actually, I'm the best she can do. I am:

A. Incredibly good looking (messy, thick black hair and hazel eyes, plus a body to die for, to quote all my ex-girlfriends)

B. Incredibly smart (see grades: B, top of page)

C. Incredibly witty, popular, and nice.

What girl can resist that?

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**A new story, and I want reviews, OK?**

**For those of you who didn't catch it, the writing in bold (other than AN) is Sirius's. Don't ask how he can write in it, he just _can_.**

**The more reviews, the sooner the update. **

**Kisses, **

**Celina**


	2. Chapter 2

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

I don't get it.

I _really _don't get it.

How can that girl resist me?

**Oh, gee, it's really hard to resist a boy whose hair has never seen a comb and with failing eyesight and a tendency towards big-headed-ness.**

**Plus a boy who has a nasty bruise on his left eye, which was given to him by a GIRL! **

It shows she fancies me. I mean, I obviously mean more to her than any other boy. I don't exactly see her walking around punching other blokes.

**That's an optimistic way of looking at it.**

Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Sirius.

Neither does envy.

You're just jealous because Lily Elizabeth Evans fancies me and not you. Let me remind you that this girl has only gone on _one _date in her life, and is bloody hard to get.

And that one date?

After my slight _intimidation_, he lost the urge to ever look at Lily with more than friendship.

**Slight? Let me remind you of what you said. "Back off from Evans, or I will make your life miserable beyond belief". That was a direct quote, by the way.**

I said it in a jokey manner.

You know us guys, always _playing _around.

Anyways, I don't care. Lily and I have a beautiful relationship.

**An abusive one.**

Lily and I do NOT have an ABUSIVE relationship. She merely gets over-zealous in showing her love.

Besides, why the hell do you keep writing in my journal? And reading what I write? I take that as an invasion of privacy.

Who knows? Maybe you'll be stealing my knickers next.

**James, believe me. I will _never _steal any bloke's knickers, especially yours, unless it's for a prank. **

Yeah, right.

I am totally not convinced.

Well, let's see what's for homework today. Hopefully, none so I can think of ways to seduce Lily.

Merlin, I have way too much homework.

These professors are sadistic, diabolical people.

James Potter's To-Do List

1. History of Magic: essay detailing the reasons why the goblins rebelled in 1765 _(does calling them ugly, stupid creatures ring a bell?)_

2. Transfiguration: practice human transfiguration_ (like I need to)_

3. Divination: chart of month's events-to-happen_ (all I have to write is how I will be severely injured/killed/maimed to get an O)_

4. Potions: essay on moonstone's properties _(stock up on Dungbombs for Snivellus)_

5. Quidditch: discover a way to embarrass Slytherin even more than last time in the next match _(if it's possible, that is)_

6. Lily Elizabeth Evans: think of conversation that doesn't result in her punching me _(yeah, right)_

* * *

I guess Lily doesn't like talking about her love life. 

If the _new _shiner on my eye is any clue, that is.

What did I do wrong? I'm writing my conversation here so Remus can look at it later.

James Potter: Lily Evans

I smile at Lily winningly, "Hey Evans."

She glares at me, and snaps, "Why don't you go jump off a cliff?"

_This is quite nice of Lily to say, actually. Most times, it's a lot worse, as in "Why don't you go Avada Kedrava yourself?"_

Encouraged by her answer, I continue, "Sorry about, erm, embarrassing you. You know, back in Transfiguration."

Lily frowns, "I remember. It's kind of hard to forget."

"So, erm, how's your love life."

_That's me. Blunt and to the point._

She stares at me, disbelieving, "Did you just ask me how my _love-life _is?"

"Er…yes. How's Johnson? You know, that guy you dated once?"

_This is actually a stupid question on my part. I already know that Daniel Johnson has never even talked to Lily, in fear of my pranks. _

She slams her book shut, "He was a retard."

"I know. That's why I made him back off from you." I smile, sure that she will drop to her knees and thank me over and over again.

Lily stops writing her essay, "Are you telling me you're the one who made Daniel run off."

_At this point, I see that her eyes are narrowing, and her lips are pursed. Instinct tells me to run away._

"Er…yeah…"

**POW!**

_The 'pow' symbolizes the punch she threw._

END OF CONVERSATION-

Should have followed my damn instinct.

Thank Merlin Remus is back from the Hospital Wing. Now I can ask him exactly why Lily gave me a shiner. Make that _two _shiners.

Do girls tend to act violent towards the person they fancy? Maybe it's one of those girl things. You know…

James Potter's List of Weird Things Girls Do

1. Make-up: Believe it or not, guys are not turned on by seeing gobs of wax. I mean, it's bad enough biting into a wax fruit at some posh restaurant. Guys don't snog you so they can taste _wax_.

2. PMS: Every month, a girl becomes irritable, mean, and downright pissed off at everything. I'm sorry their hormones are out of whack, but it doesn't mean they can _scream_ at us. And throw various articles at us, including hairbrushes, quills, and textbooks. And some of those girls have killer aim.

3. Prince Charming: It's sweet and all that girls think some handsome guy's going to come galloping up to them, all suave and macho, causing them to swoon, and marry them and live happily ever after. But, newsflash, **_that's a bloody fairy tale_**. If they think one of us guys is going to actually do that, then they are sick and deranged.

4. Cry/Show Emotions: Um, it's healthy to cry and let out your feelings, but don't get us involved. It's bloody frustrating having a girl slobber all over your shirt, and have her accuse you of having the emotional capacity of a spoon.

5. Go To The Loo In Packs: Do girls watch each other "relieve themselves"? That's gross, man.

6. Gossip: Does anyone really care what so-and-so did with her boyfriend? Everyone has secrets, so get over it.

7. Hygiene: Yes, I get the fact that we guys are dirty pigs. There's no reason to rub it in our face. And besides, we guys don't go around sniffing each other and declaring them to be "spring-time fresh". You do. Tell me who the creepy one is.

Girls are weird, man.

_Yet you run around Lily, begging her for a date._

You know what, Remus?

Bugger off.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Thanks you for all your reviews! Please, review! Remember, the more reviews, the longer and sooner the next chapter!**

**I have a poll. I want all of you to go to my profile, read my 'Confessions' stories (****Confessions of a Withering Flower****Confessions of a Bewildered Head Girl****, and ****Confessions of a Bewildered Head Girl**

**Then, I want you guys to tell me, which one should I continue? Please pick ONLY one. **

**THANKS!**

**Psychopenguin16: **Lol, your name reminds me of the Mafia penguins in Madagascar. They're so totally funny! Anyways, I love James! James is sooooo adorable, at least the way I imagine him to be.

**Evil Pillow: **Thanks for reviewing!

**MintyToothpick: **Thank you for adding this! I hope you like this chapter!

**Tamsididi: **Thanks for reviewing! You almost always review my stories!

**Amber-Tinted: **Lol, James is adorable.

**Ihateharryandhermioneshippers: **Love your name, gotta agree. Thanks for reviewing.

**Peanutbutta3636: **Thanks for reviewing!

**xRazberryGurlx: **Thanks for the sweet comment, and I'm curious to know what other fanfic made you laugh?

**Warrior of Tortall: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Crystal Kisses: **LoL, I have the same experience. My brother thinks I'm mad when I start laughing randomly while reading a fanfic.

**Aligindahouse: **Thanks for reviewing!

**DOJ: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Eva Angel: **Thanks for adding this to your C2!

**The5thmarauder: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Fairy Sprinkles: **Thanks for reviewing!

**SerenityRose016: **Thank you sooooo much! I'm glad you liked it!

**Bondariana: **You're the first semi-flame I've gotten. But you're totally right. I wrote those Confession series when I had a lot of mixed up ideas running around in my head, but lately, I've started really dedicating myself to my stories. If my stories get a good response, then I continue. If they don't, I assume it was a stupid idea. Like some of my stories, like DPR and TDOLE have gotten GREAT responses, so I've continued. Others, like the Confessions and CYKAS haven't, so I thought no one liked them. I'm thinking about continuing one of my Confessions, and probably taking the others down. They were more like…experiments, to see what people like/dislike when I first started writing on ffnet.

**Rosiemary: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Galasriniel: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Angelic Chocolate Fairy: **Thanks for reviewing! Lily and James will be realizing just how special the other is….fluff, fluff. I love Sirius too!

**Jersey Princess: **James will be doing a LOT of growing, never fear! Thanks for reviewing!

**Passion Flower 24: **As I said, James will be maturing soon. Thanks for reviewing!

**Lina and Mio: **You're soooooooooo sweet! Thanks for reviewing!

**JeevesandWooster: **LoL, I totally agree. I see James as the annoying prat that you can't help but love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Confessions of a Marauder**

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_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

Alright. So Remus just read over my conversation with Lily. He reckons that I shouldn't have opened my big mouth about Daniel Johnson.

Well, thank you _Captain Obvious_.

I figured that out on my own, with the help of my large and extremely powerful brain.

It's obvious why Lily was so livid. I mean, anyone with half a brain can figure it out. It's quite simple, and terribly amusing.

The fact is, Lily doesn't want to be reminded of the mistake she made- choosing Johnson over me. She must feel horribly daft now that she realizes her error of judgment.

It's quite alright, actually.

You can't expect someone to have it all- looks, intelligence, sensitivity, humbleness, and a good judgment.

Unless it's me, that is. I pride myself on having all these qualities.

I should reassure Lily. Tell her that I won't hold her accountable for her brief moment of idiocy.

As a matter of fact, I see her coming this way right now and she looks quite angry. Her nondescript girlfriends are surrounding her, and she's heatedly explaining something.

Ick. Has she no taste in personalities? Her friends are all alike- vaguely pretty in a common way, smart as hell, and stuck up beyond belief.

Bloody Merlin. How the heck am I supposed to talk to her now, with all those idiots listening to very word? Am I supposed to _lasso _her or something?

Bugger. There's no string in my pocket.

No matter. I will sit here, on this delightfully comfy couch, and wait for her 'friends' to go away, and leave the coast clear.

_Merlin_, this couch is springy. I'm bouncing up and down right now, which will explain the sudden messiness of my writing.

Hee hee. The couch is making a delightful squeaky noise. I'm trying to squeak to the tune of 'Which Witch'.

Lily and her friends are staring at me. They look…shocked? And amused?

What's so amusing about a boy enjoying the effects of an unusually springy couch?

"Potter! You're going to break that couch!" Lily warns.

Psh. Silly girl.

Oh.

_Merlin_.

I wonder how many detentions you get for breaking a Common Room couch.

Lily and her friends explode into peals of laughter, and the rest of the Gryffindor Common Room looks over at me and starts laughing as well.

Reaching up, I pluck a wad of cotton stuffing from my hair.

"Prongs! What did you _do_?" Remus asks exasperatedly, eyeing the sight of me sitting on a lopsided couch with cotton stuffing floating in the air around me.

Lily rolled her eyes at me, "The couch couldn't take the weight of his fat head."

What? My head is _not _fat. It's perfectly formed in every way, thank you very much.

I glower at her, "You know Evans, its times like these that I wonder why I fancy you."

She turned red, and her eyes narrowed. Her friends shoot dirty looks at me in unison and begin muttering angrily to one another.

Me and my _big _mouth. Now I've got a bloody pack of girls after my head. (Which is still perfectly formed)

"Potter! You are such an insufferable, arrogant prick! I _never _asked you to follow me around like a bloody puppy and annoy me constantly with your stupid comments!" She shouted, arms flailing wildly.

Is that what she thinks of me? A bloody dog?

That just hurts, you know. I may be a lot of things, but I would never annoy Lily purposely. Besides, it's not like _she's _perfect. Like...like when she goes around asking everyone how many OWLS they got, and started gloating about her _oh so perfect _grades.

I stand up and snap back, "You know what, Evans? I'm tired of your bloody hypocrisy! You think _I'm _conceited? What about you? You aren't some bloody saint! You go around on a high horse looking down at everyone!"

I feel Remus laying a warning hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off.

Lily screeched, "Me? _Look _down at people? You're the one who tortures Slytherins without mercy!"

"Oh, you mean Snivellus? You expect me to be _nice _to a bloody Death Eater?"

Lily laughs derisively, "Please. Your best friend comes from a family of Death Eaters! He's probably one too!"

Remus sucks in his breath and swears.

I walk towards her until we're standing only an inch apart. Her eyes are narrowed, and show a trace of fear for the first time.

"Say what you want about me, but don't you bloody dare have a go at my best friend. You…you have _no _idea how much Sirius means for me. So just take your prejudices and _shove it up your arse_."

Lily remains silent as I walk off.

As I go up the stairs to the Boys' Dormitories, I see Sirius waiting for me at the doorway. With one glance at his face, I know he heard everything.

* * *

Oh, Merlin. 

I feel so…confused. Lily and I have never, _never _spoken like that to each other. She always shouts at me, but she never crossed her limits by insulting my best friends.

And I've never said a single negative thing about her.

As I look back, I realize that the conversation was neither of our faults. She was just being defensive, and I took her words to heart even though I know she's irrational when she's angry.

But she should have never accused Sirius of being anything like Snape.

But I told her she was a hypocrite.

Bloody hell, my head hurts. After I saw Sirius, he laid a hand on my shoulder and told me, "You are the best mate a bloke could have."

And he meant every word of it.

Then he added, "I'm glad you realized what a bitch Evans is."

I almost hit him, then, I really did. And he probably knew. But in the end, I knew he was right. Lily could be cruel, and I knew it.

And Merlin help me, I still love her.

Why I Should Apologize To Lily

1. She can be nice. When she wants to be, that is.

2. She's pretty.

3. She's smart.

4. She's funny.

5. I miss her. Even though all we did was yell at each other, I still miss even that.

Why I _Shouldn't _Apologize To Lily

1. It was mostly her fault.

2. I'm always the one who's apologizing.

3. She can be a right bitch sometimes.

4. For all her OWLS, she can be horribly daft about others' feelings. Namely, me.

5. She's not the prettiest girl in Hogwarts.

I really need a shot of Firewhiskey.

Or to play a prank on dear, dear Snivellus.

* * *

Bloody, bloody _hell_.

What just happened?

I'm a bit confused.

Would someone like to throw me a frickin' bone here? I mean, really.

What happened was that I was walking along the corridors, hunting for Snivellus, when I heard the unmistakable sound of someone crying.

Being the gallant, kind person I am, I followed the sound to…

**_Lily._**

I know, I'm just as shocked as you are.

Obviously, I sat down next to her and waited for her to notice me. Which usually takes about a second or so.

I think she has some kind of radar which flashes, '_Bighead Idiot Alert! Bighead Idiot Alert!_' whenever me or Sirius go near her. Then she shifts into attack mode, which usually means a lecture screamed at us. Basically, we stand in front of her, twiddling our thumbs and wondering about the next Quidditch match, while she rants on and on about our utter lack of maturity.

Anyway, it took her about ten minutes to realize I was sitting there, waiting. Her eyes landed on my diary, and she sniffled, "You're…you're still writing in that?"

I touched it softly, "Erm…yeah. Writing in a diary kinda grows on you."

She laughed weakly, and she mopped her face with the sleeve of her robe. I blurted, "I have to say something."

"If you're going to apologize, Potter," she started angrily, "then _don't_. It…it was really all my fault. _I'm _the one who should say sorry." Her voice was soft, and sincere.

I shrugged, "Well, yeah, but I shouldn't have said all those things about you."

A faint smile touched her lips, "I think that was the first time you said anything horrid to me…even though I'm always insulting you."

Ruffling my hair, I muttered, "I know. Usually, I can't bring myself to even _think_ anything bad about you, and today…Merlin, I'm so, so sorry."

Then she did something that confused the hell out of me.

She began to _cry_.

WHY ARE GIRLS SO CONFUSING?

I sat there, like an idiot, and awkwardly patted her shoulder, "Erm, there, there. It'll get better."

Remembering a Muggle movie I saw once, I seriously said, "And _remember_, you are a very, very _special_ and _unique_ person deep inside. Think of bright rainbows and er…other happy things."

Hey, the girl kissed the guy. It was worth a try. Even though I think the girl was a bit loony. Then again, so is Lily.

Lily looked at me strangely through her tears.

I let out a sigh. Better luck next time, Potter.

Then she mopped her face with her _other _sleeve (her sleeves must be drenching at this point) and I asked cautiously, "Did my apology upset you?"

"Yes! I mean, _no_, but…look, I admit I had a certain image of you. You were always supposed to be arrogant and mean and annoying. And today, you…I realized that I might have-"

She breathed deeply.

"Misjudged you a bit. You're still stupid, and arrogant, and you are a bit of a bully, but you can be nice. When you want to be, that is. And you can be a bit right about me being...a hypocrite."

Are you getting a sense if déjà vu here? That's exactly what I wrote about _her _a while ago.

We even _insult _each other with the same words. It's match made in Heaven, really.

I asked hopefully, "So, you want to go out with me?"

She turned red and screeched, "That's _so _like you! You are such a prat! Have you ever tried to respect _my _feelings? That I might be going through major mental turmoil?"

Um, excuse me. What about the mental torture **_I _**go through when she rejects me time and time again?

Glaring, she picked up her bookbag and stomped off.

I called after her, "Was that a no? Evans? _Evans?_"

So, basically, we made up to each other, then she got mad at me again.

I will now pray that I'm reborn as an ant so I don't have to deal with bloody girl hormones.

Hopefully, my karma isn't too bad.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Please help me! Read the other Confessions….and tell me which ONE to rewrite. **

**Danu3: **Lol, I usually read the ones with _few _chapters, so I don't have to read a lot. But I'm glad you liked the summary.

**Loraliant Angelisa Snape: **Thanks for answering the poll, but I really need you to pick just one.

**Paprikan: **Thanks for reviewing! I love the comments!

**Mintytoothpick: **Thanks for reviewing! You're so consistent!

**Tracey: **You know what? You are probably my second favorite reviewer, right after MissCheiviousHP. Thank you for sticking with me through all my good and bad stories. I'm putting in a character called Tracey in this story as a small way to thank you. I LOVE YOU!

**Warrior of Tortall: **Lily is about to change her mind…that is, if James doesn't screw it up. (And if I get a brilliant review response, in which case I will drag out the story to suck up as many reviews as possible. JK!)

**Reader: **Wow, what an original name! Lol, sorry if I offended you. Thanks for reviewing!

**InuBecka: **Love the James conversation, totally him…you know, chauvinistic and arrogant-ish.

**Cylobaby: **Thanks for reviewing!

**StarburstSweetie: **Haven't heard from you for a while, I'm glad you're back. James will be changing soon…unless if I get a brilliant review response, in which case I will drag out the story to suck up as many reviews as possible. JK!

**Chrisy8887779999: **I'm not even going to _try _to figure out what the numbers mean. Lol. Thanks for reviewing!

**Animerocksjapanrocks: **Thanks for reviewing, gotta agree with your name. I love anime, even though the only one I've seen is Sailor Moon, which I'm not sure counts.

**Jersey Princess: **Thanks for reviewing! I'm a bit hurt that I'm not a priority though. JK.

**Passionflower24: **I love the list too. Even though I'm a girl, I still don't know how some of my fellow specimens think.

**Ditzy120: **Hope this chapter is a bit better formatted.

**LJFan: **Oh my god, thank you for your review! You really made my day! I have to agree with you, we girls _can _be pretty weird. As for the bathroom thing, I think we just want someone to talk with.

**IdOn'TlIkEnAmEs: **Took me a while to get _your _name, hun. Thanks for reviewing!

**Amber-Tinted: **Not only did she punch him, she punched him _twice_. Ouch. Hope this chapter is long enough!

**JeevesandWooster: **I love the spoon comment! Ron is adorable. James really is an average guy- clueless, clueless, clueless.

**Angelic Chocolate Fairy: **Lol, I love the list too. I have plenty more to say about us girls, but I fear offending anyone. Lily is a bit confused in this chapter. That was a random fact, BTW.


	4. Chapter 4

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

You know what I just realized? Actually, I just realized a _number _of things about our favorite redhead:

A. She's completely loony.

B. She really knows how to turn on the waterworks and make a perfectly nice bloke (namely, me) feel like a complete git. Not that I am one, that is.

C. She's driving _me _loony.

**Gotta agree with you there, mate.**

Thanks, Sirius. I simply appreciate what a _loyal_ friend you are.

Hey. Wait. Weren't you mad at me? For…you know, chasing after Lily again?

**I wasn't mad.**

Oh really?

I suppose calling your best friend a "stubborn, blind arse" and a "bloody retard" qualifies as being un-mad.

And refusing to talk to said best friend on the basis that he is losing his sanity thanks to a redheaded freak of nature that was put on earth to torture poor souls.

**OK. Fine. I was mad. I forgive you though. You're my best mate, you know that. And a bloody wretch isn't coming between a friendship of seventeen years, fifteen days, and thirteen hours. **

Aw. You keep track? I'm flattered. Just proves what a kind, amicable, brilliant person I am. I must be, if someone likes me _that _much.

Ew.

Snivellus just walked into the Potions classroom, and cast me a dirty look. I wonder if he knows I'm the one who stole his essay on the healing properties of a bezoar. Which, surprisingly, was extremely well-written.

Then again, losers like Snivellus spend as much time as possible in the library, hoping to soak up as much information as possible in the hopes of ruling the world one day.

All I have to say to _that _is, 'in his pathetic little dreams'.

"Potter, give me back my essay." Snivellus hissed.

He knows.

I innocently ask, "What essay? I'm a bit confused. Why would _I _steal your essay?" I watch with glee as his face darkens.

"Because you're an arrogant little toe-rag who takes pleasure in hurting others." Lily snapped, glaring at me. She had come up behind Snivellus and heard every word.

I frown at her, "Speaking of hurting others, you never gave me your answer to my question last night. You know, when I asked you out? But then again, you probably meant to say yes and were too shy to say so."

Beside me, Sirius let out a groan and Remus banged his head on the desk.

Lily stamped her foot, and retorted, "I think my exit pretty much answered your question. No, Potter! I won't go out with a bloody wanker!"

I wonder why she's telling me this. Obviously I _know _she won't be saying yes to a Daniel Johnson any time soon, in light of her recent mistake.

"I know _that_, Evans. I was asking about going out with me."

Remus is desperately making signals for me to shut up while Sirius stuffed a fist in his mouth to keep from laughing.

"YOU ARE THE BLOODY WANKER! I WON'T GO OUT WITH A BLOODY WANKER, NAMELY YOU!"

Oh.

"Miss Evans! Refrain from using such language in my classroom! Ten points from Gryffindor." Professor Liam calls, scandalized.

Lily shoots me a dirty look.

He shakes his head, "Really, now. There's no need for vulgarity. Go sit by Mr. Snape, Miss Evans."

By Snivellus? You have got to be kidding me.

I exclaim, "Professor! You can't make Evans sit by that grease-ball!"

Lily chucks her Potions book at me, hitting me on the head sharply. I let out a muffled yelp and look at her accusingly.

"Miss Evans! Really, I've had enough! Detention on Friday! I can't believe such a talented Potions brewer would behave like this!"

I glance at Lily, whose face is bright red and watch her slowly sink in her chair. Silly girl. Everyone knows not to piss Professor Liam off.

Remus just leaned over and announced heavily, "Your chances with her were just shot to the moon, mate."

I wonder why he'd say a stupid thing like that?

**Maybe because you just made her get her first detention, Prongs.**

What? I did _not_. Was I the one who made her yell at me and chuck her over-sized textbook at me?

Really. Such an accusation wounds my heart. And after I tried to save her from inhaling Snivellus's deadly and toxic fumes.

Which was kind of a flop. But it's the thought that counts, right?

Bugger, I know I'm right.

James Potter's To-Do List

1. Find some way of paying back Snivellius. Reason? For being a greasy-haired wanker.

2. Convince Lily that it wasn't my fault that made her stupidly set off Professor Liam's famous temper.

3. Convince myself that it wasn't my fault that made her stupidly set off Professor Liam's famous temper.

4. Beat Peter in Gobstones. Can't have him beating _me _at something, now.

5. Do my homework.

6. Procrastinate doing my homework, so I can play pranks on someone. Preferably, Snivellus.

7. Set my alarm clock so I can wake early tomorrow morning to hurriedly finish my homework, because I spent today goofing off.

See? The experts in Teen Wizard were right; making a list _does _make your problems seem less significant than they really are.

If I hadn't made the list, I would be having a mental struggle about whether to do my homework like a good boy or to play pranks and satisfy my craving.

_With _the list, however, I can easily see how even if I don't do my homework now, I have plenty of time to do it later. Or at least paraphrase Moony's.

Well, now that that's set, I can think about the important stuff.

_Pranks. _

Maybe the ole' bucket of water trick? Or a nice lil' hex, say…Bat Bogey? Choices, choices.

Wait. My brain just hatched an idea. How about I rig a water bucket to splash over Snivellus, and perform _Scourgify_? It'll be killing two birds with one stone. I get to embarrass/humiliate Snivellus _and _save myself from looking at his greasy hair for the next few days.

Knowing Snivellus, though, the clean hair will last only an hour or so.

* * *

Sirius loves my idea.

Remus hates my idea.

Peter loves me, therefore he loves the idea. (Nasty little devotee-I wonder about his sexuality)

Anyways, with a 3:4 ratio, we have decided to perform the cleansing ritual at lunch, which will be right after Potions. Thankfully, Potions will be over soon, so I'll be able to escape Lily's heated glare soon.

In case you're wondering, I'm partners with Melissa Hopkins, the third most talented student in our year. (right after Snivellus and dear, dear Lily)

So I haven't been doing a single ruddy thing except to glance over and vaguely say, "Good job." Or "You're doing fine."

The silly girl is thrilled to pieces whenever I look over, probably because of how popular and good-looking I am.

It's quite funny. Melissa has the most horrid hair- bushy dirty blonde hair tightly bound in a braid. Plus, she wears thick glasses and has a slight lisp. And her robes are so…last century.

But does that stop her from admiring me, the most popular boy I this school? I think _not_.

Eep, the professor is headed our way. I'll just shove you in my bag…

There. He's gone. I stuffed you in my bag and pretended to be absorbed with the cauldron, asking intelligent questions like, "So, the potion is pink? Or is it red? Or is it red with white specks that make you _think_ it's pink?"

OK, maybe not so intelligent questions.

Anyways, Melissa answered my questions, beaming, and the professor approvingly said, "Excellent work, Potter, Hopkins. It pleases me greatly to see two such devoted students."

Thomas Bone cast me a dirty look once he left and whispered, "You didn't do an ounce of work, Potter. You're just taking credit for her work."

I wave a hand airily, "Just because my potion is pink and yours is red doesn't give you the right to be jealous."

He scowled at me and turned to Melissa, "How come you're letting that worm step all over you?"

Blushing, Melissa murmured, "I dunno, he helps…hot…I mean a lot."

Being as good-looking as me does have its perks.

Now that Potions is over, it's time for lunch. And that means…

"Oh Snivellus!"

* * *

That was a bit of a disaster.

I mean, the prank went fine, and now Snivellus's hair smells like roses and cream. Which is quite a delightful combination, really.

But Lily wasn't amused.

To put it simply, she screamed, "I hate you Potter! Every thing you do, you manage to make someone else's life a bloody nightmare! Just because he looks, erm, different doesn't give you the right to play God and mold him as you see fit!"

I gestured towards Snape, and incredulously said, "You're telling me that that's not in improvement?"

His hair was clean and hanging around his also-recently-cleaned face. Really, she should be thanking me. Seeing that I just cleaned up her new Potions partner.

"Just go to hell, Potter!"

Ouch.

Snivellus got up warily from the floor where I had stunned him and barked, "Don't interfere, Mudblood."

After saying this, he touches his hair and looks shocked. Probably amazed that his hair is clean for the first time in let's see, sixteen years. Oh, back to what he said to Lily.

I wave my wand threateningly at him, "Oi, take that back!" I pull my angry-James look at him.

This contribution on my part is ignored however as Lily is still glaring at Snape who is glaring right back.

Tears are forming in her eyes and she snapped, "Sorry for trying to _help_, Snivellus."

I think she just realized what I've been trying to say for six years. Snape is a horrid potty-mouth.

She looked at me and sighed wearily, "I will never go out with you unless you learn to be kind and not shove people around. Even then, you'd have to do something incredible to convince me that you're not an arrogant toe-rag."

I can do that. Easy-peasy.

* * *

OK.

I was wrong. I've been trying to come up with an idea for _ages _and have come up with the following:

Ways to Show Lily That I Am Not an Arrogant Prat

1. I should-

Still, I have the title down, and that's probably the hardest part. I'm sure the rest of it will come easily to me in a matter of a few minutes.

Still waiting.

Any moment now I will be struck by a brilliant idea.

My brain must be on vacation.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Remember to read the other Confessions I've written and tell me which one to update. After receiving your reviews for this chapter, I will be deciding which one. And have it up soon.**

**Anyways, REVIEW! **

**Tell me what you think about the Half Blood Prince. I've read it, and was a bit disappointed.**

**For some reason, it didn't seem as well-written as the other books, especially the fifth. It had a random tone, especially in the last chapters, where the main characters act so stupidly, you wonder if they're the same ones who escaped from Voldemort a few months ago. **

**And I HATE how blank dies at the end, but I knew it was coming since the last two books.**

**I will have individual replies next chapter, and for now…cheers. Happy reading.**

**Kisses, **

**Celina **


	5. Chapter 5

**Confessions of a Marauder**

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_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

OK. I can do this. It is simply a matter of educating myself on the art of self-control and restraint. A matter of allowing my inner good to come through.

Or so Moony puts it.

After discovering the fact that my brain was on vacation (to the Bahamas, presumably), I held a conference with my friends and we decided on a plan to make me irresistible to Lily.

The following is the outline of _Mission: Make James Un-Arrogant_.

Mission: Make James Un-Arrogant

**1.** He will quit running his hands through his hair. This is a direct request from Lily back in the Lake Scene last year. This will be accomplished by Sirius hexing James whenever he does run his hand through his hair. The idea came from Remus, who saw a man train a dog this way.

**2.** He will continue picking on Snivellus, but do so only when Lily is not present. This will be accomplished by Peter keeping an eye on the Marauder's Map.

**3.** He will not hex random students. Unless they are twitchy first years who are annoying beyond hell.

**4. **He will not flirt with other girls. If any girl should 'put a move' on him, he will refer them to his much more handsome friend, Sirius.

**5.** He will not 'act up' in class. This is defined by Remus as:

**...a. **Not talking back to the teachers.

**...b.** Not playing pranks on other students. Especially Snivellus.

**...c.** Not goofing around with Sirius, and instead taking notes like a good, studious student.

**6.** He will not go around bragging.

Oh joy. Why don't they just say, "Don't have any fun, James" and get it over with.

Still, if this will make Lily fancy me, then I'm all for it.

Moony says I should have no problem doing all this. But right after he said this, he got a funny look on his face and had to excuse himself to the bathroom. Sirius later told me that Moony wouldn't stop laughing hysterically for at least an hour.

I'm doomed.

"Mr. Potter, would you please pay attention?" Professor McGonagall thundered.

Remember rule number 5a. No talking back to the teacher.

I meekly say, "Sorry, Professor."

See? I can do it.

The room goes silent. You can hear Peter's raspy breathing from across the room, on account of him having his permanent cold.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, I want to see you three after class." Professor McGonagall slowly says, giving us strange looks.

Sirius tears his eyes away from his giggling partner and blinks rather stupidly at the Professor. Behind him, Remus looks up from his lengthy notes.

Peter blows his nose loudly and calls, "What about me, Professor?"

Professor McGonagall eyes him with great disdain and stiffly answers, "That won't be necessary, Mr. Pettigrew."

He looks crestfallen and looks at us forlornly, as if we were the ones to exclude him.

Which, quite frankly, we do a lot.

It's not him, it's us.

No, wait. It is him.

I'm sorry and all, but he's creepy. His blatant worship of us three was the only reason we let him onto our secrets. We needed a flunky.

Now, however, we're rather attached to him, creepy as he is. There's something reassuring about always having someone who admires you.

Other than crazed fan-girls.

So, we try to include him as much as we can, but subconsciously we leave him out sometimes. Especially in the more important, soul-bearing times.

He shrugs it off, but I can't help but feel that he's slowly resenting us.

Whoops. The bell rang. Better go see McGonagall.

* * *

Life is soooooo unfair. 

I do the work, and someone else gets the credit.

In this case, Moony.

After class, we went up to Professor McGonagall. Lily was still packing. Oddly, she was moving slowly, almost as if she was eavesdropping.

Perfect Prefect Lily eavesdropping?

Nah.

McGonagall summoned a piece of parchment and laid it in front of me.

"This, Mr. Potter, is a record of every detention you have ever received. As you can see, the reason for each is listed opposite the staff who assigned it. Almost 50 of your detentions were from the result of talking back in class."

Sirius, who was reading the parchment, exclaimed, "Hey, you're 13 detentions ahead of me."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I was extremely surprised today, Mr. Potter, when you didn't talk back. Instead, if I remember correctly, you answered with a docile apology. I'm hoping this was the result of you maturing, not having an 'off' day."

I smiled winningly, "I'm maturing, really."

She allowed a thin smile at me, "Then, I believe I made the correct choice by appointing Mr. Lupin over here as Prefect. It seems that you have taken a leaf out of his book."

Remus beamed at her, and fingered his badge lovingly.

McGonagall sent a weary look toward Sirius, who was making faces at a fuming Lily. "However, it seems that Mr. Lupin's influence hasn't spread to Mr. Black."

I snorted at this.

"Bless you, Mr. Potter." McGonagall obliviously said, believing it was a sneeze.

Sirius looked at us, and raised his brows, "Are you quite done?"

Professor McGonagall sighed, "Yes. Mr. Potter, keep up this behavior, although I did catch you dozing off earlier.

I guiltily say, "Ah…late night…"

She ignored this and nodded approvingly toward Remus, "Job well done. You three may go now."

When I turned, I saw Lily standing by her desk, her green eyes lowered. She looked like she was thinking hard about something.

I must tell her not to strain her brain so much.

As we walked out, Sirius nudged me, "Are you becoming a teacher's pet like Moony here?"

Remus answered for me, "Sirius, it's time to grow up. Mature."

I bluntly added, "Become like old people."

Sirius snorted, "You ain't catching me growing up any time soon. I have my whole life in front of me to get boring, why start now?"

Remus huffily injected, "Mature people aren't necessarily boring, Padfoot."

Sirius sent an incredulous look at him, "Sure, Moony. And Veelas _aren't_ gorgeous. And Malfoy _isn't_ a slimy git. And Snape? Yeah, he's my _cuddle bunny_."

I laugh at the mental image this brings.

Merlin. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without my friends. I'd die, I swear.

Well, maybe not, because there's always Lily, but I'd be a lot lonelier for sure.

* * *

I love Professor Flitwick. 

No, I'm not a Tinkerbelle. I'm just extremely, extremely fond of Flitwick.

After lunch, Sirius and I headed to Charms while Remus went to Advanced Arithmancy. He takes Charms with the seventh years, on account of his being smart as hell.

When we got there, we were a bit late. On account of us cornering Snivellus before class and having a long-overdue go at him.

There were only two seats left. One was next to Katie Wood, and the other next to darling Lily.

Obviously, Sirius sat next to Katie (she's pretty hot) and I sat next to Lily.

Professor Flitwick climbed on top of his stack of books and squeaked, "The person you are sitting next to will be your partner for the project I will be assigning soon."

I beamed at Lily, "I'm so excited!"

She groaned and thrust her hand in the air, "Professor, I refuse to work with Potter."

Professor Flitwick cheerfully answered, "But you will. Part of this project will be meeting new people."

Lily exclaimed, "I know him perfectly already."

Flitwick smiled mysteriously, "No, I don't believe you do."

Lily sighed and thumped her forehead onto her desk.

"You know, Lily, when you do that, you're killing off brain cells that don't grow back." I helpfully informed her.

She looked at me, and sarcastically noted, "You must be speaking from experience."

It took me a while to process this comment and figure out whether she meant I was stupid from my own head-thumping, or I was an intelligent person who has observed this in someone else (presumably Sirius).

In the end, I decided she meant I was the latter. After all, no one could see my grades and think I was _stupid_.

What a truly stupid idea.

So I sigh wearily and say to her, "I try to get him to stop, but does he listen? _No_."

She gives me a strange look.

Professor Flitwick calls, "Please note the following instructions. This will be your end of the term exam, worth 50 of your grade."

I smile at Lily, "I know how much you like to write, so you can write them down. Oh, and make a copy for me."

She snorts, "I'm not Melissa Hopkins, Potter. You write your own copy, or I'll let you fail."

Affronted, I reply, "Fine. But there's no need to be so rude."

Oops. I'm out of parchment. If I get up, then Flitwick will get mad at me. I'd ask Lily, but she's furiously scribbling, muttering: "Rotten sexist pig" over and over again.

Wait. I have _you_. I'll take notes in my diary! This way, I won't forget them.

_FINAL CHARMS PROJECT: Due Tuesday, April 17th_

_1. Pick a charm studied this term. The charm must be of sixth year level. Consult The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 6 for a complete list._

_2. Prepare a five foot essay on the history, use, and future developments of the charm._

_3. Prepare an in-class demonstration of the charm. The demonstration must consist of:_

_a. Brief outline of the history behind the charm_

_b. A display of the charm that shows adequate skill of both partners._

_4. Both partners must equally participate. To insure this, each partner will hand in an evaluation of themselves and their partner. See Flitwick for the form. _

Oh Merlin. Sounds like a lot of work, if you ask me.

"Lily!"

A pretty girl had walked up to us during our exchange. She had an amused look on her face, and looked at us with twinkling eyes.

"Hi, Tracey." Lily smiles brightly at her, and casts a dirty look my way.

Tracey brushed her hair back and said, "I just wanted to remind you of the Prefect meeting tonight. And could you also remind Remus?"

I speak up, "I'll do it."

Lily glares at me, "Knowing you, you'll forget. I'll do it, Tracey."

Tracey smiles again, and I resist the urge to flirt with her. She's obviously Lily's friend. I wouldn't want them to fight over me, now.

After Tracey walks away, I ask, "Is she single?"

I tried.

Lily snaps, "Yes, but she has higher standards than to date a conceited prick."

Noting my opening mouth, she adds, "Like you."

Oh. Like the wanker thing in Potions.

Anyways, point is, Lily and I are partners for a huge project.

You know what that means, right?

**You're both going to get a failing grade because you couldn't stop fighting all the time and actually work on the project. **

Shut up, Sirius. It means…

WE GET TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER!

I'll be able to carry out _Mission: Make James Un-Arrogant _now, and prove to her what a humble, sweet person I am.

I think.

Oh, sh-shoot. Wait. Mum's not reading my diary. She won't know if I use 'vulgar' language.

Last summer break, Sirius and I were playing Quidditch. And Sirius chucked the Quaffle at me so hard, it bloody broke my nose.

Naturally, I let out a few _choice _words.

With my luck, Mum had just entered the field and heard me swear at Sirius.

She made me get off the broom and yelled at me.

Her exact words were, "JAMES POTTER! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR SUCH WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, EVER! PROPER YOUNG MEN DO NOT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE, AND I AM EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU! YOU CAN BET YOUR SOCKS THAT YOUR FATHER WILL BE HEARING OFF THIS!"

That was the summer that Sirius ran away from his parents. His mum is the stereotypical Pureblood. Snooty, bigoted, and evil beyond all belief.

Not to mention quite ugly. Has anyone told her that the 'Muggle witch' look is sooooo over?

Not that it even began.

So, back to me and the privacy of my diary.

Oh, shit.

What if, during the time Lily and I spend together, she (somehow) figures I'm an even bigger prat than she thought originally?

Then I'll really be in trouble.

Oh, no. I'm supposed to meet her in the library in fifteen minutes.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**C'mon! You guys can do better than 15 reviews!**

**Tracey, I need a description of you, or what you'd like me to write you as. Looks, personality, and House. **

**Individual replies next chapter, for sure.**

**  
Depruding Update on Sunday.**

**I'm writing an epilogue for Define Perfection. Out tomorrow. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Well, that went quite horribly.

First of all, I made a HUGE mistake. I _knew _I was supposed to meet her at five, and I was on my way, all set to be on time and impress her with my punctuality.

When along comes _Snivellus_, the oily git.

He sneered, "On your way to meet your Mudblood girlfriend, Potter? Oh wait, she hates you."

Obviously, I couldn't let that pass. I mean, he called Lily a rude name, and implied that she _hates _me. I'll have him know that she's just in denial.

So, I take out my wand, all set to jinx him to Ireland and back, and Professor McGonagall appears out of nowhere and starts shouting at me.

"Mr. Potter! I would've thought you'd behave better than this after our chat after class!"

I responded indignantly, "He called Evans a…a you-know…"

Professor McGonagall crisply informed me, "That doesn't mean you can whip out your wand, Mr. Potter, and jinx him. Ten points from Gryffindor."

I gape at her, "From you own House?"

Snivellus smirks at me from behind McGonagall. The slimy Slytherin snake. It's all his fault.

"And as for you, Mr. Snape, twenty points from Slytherin and detention with Filch tonight. If I hear another offensive word out of your mouth, I will make sure that you will be suspended."

Snivellus looked like she had just announced that Potions was cancelled.

He scowled and stalked off, shooting me a dirty look on the way.

Then I remembered.

Lily.

Library.

_Mission: Make James Un-Arrogant_.

A mental image of my head rolling on the ground popped up in my thoughts.

So, I sprint to the Library, nearly breaking the neck of some scrawny first year (they should know better than to walk in the middle of the hall, honestly).

Panting, I spotted Lily and flung myself onto the chair while calling up on the Potter charm.

"Evans." I smiled charmingly.

Her face turned red and she snapped, "Why are you _late_?"

I ran a hand though my hair and smile, "Oh, you know…um…stuff."

Merlin, she looked like she was going to explode right there. I almost grabbed a book and held it up to shield my good-looking, handsome face.

"JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE BUGGER I HAVE EVER HAD THE UTTER MISFORTUNE TO MEET!"

As she shrieked on and on at me about my lack of feelings for her feelings, the whole library turned to look at us.

I smiled at the audience, ruffling my hair for good measure.

Madame Pince screeched, "Miss Evans! Stop that infernal noise!"

That's rich really, coming from a woman who's as scrawny as a first year, who was currently screeching in a voice similar to fingernails on a chalkboard.

She marched to us and flapped her hands in a vulture like way, "Out! Both of you! Out! Out!"

Lily glared at me and chucked her parchment and quill into her bag. I blinked at Pince, "Wait. You mean I have to get out? I just got here!"

Pince scornfully replied, "I won't have any of your antics today, Potter."

I followed Lily out and remarked, "That Pince is a real pain, huh? She makes Filch look-"

"Just shut up, Potter!" Lily cried, and thrust a heavy book at me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. I choked.

She practically killed me. What would have happened if I hadn't breathed in time, I shudder to think.

"Oof! Watch out-"

Lily hysterically cried, "Didn't you hear me? I said shut up! You always do this; make me all angry, and when I yell at you, _I _get in trouble!"

I frowned at this, "I don't mean to make you angry, Lily."

Scathingly, she snapped, "Oh, no, it just _happens_, I reckon. Anyways, you've managed to ruin everything. And you know what? I don't even _care _what I get on that stupid project. I just want you out of my life."

I blink at her, unsure of what to say. She had just told me that she really did hate me.

Oh, Merlin, Snivellus was right!

It's the signal for the end of the world, really. I mean, Snivellus…right?

She saw my hurt expression and added a bit gently, "I'm going to the Prefects' meeting. Good night. And take McGonagall's advice. Grow up, James."

She walked off, leaving me staring at the wall.

I don't get it. I followed all the rules and everything. I took notes, was hexing Snivellus in private (until McGonagall poofed out of nowhere), I didn't flirt-

Oh, god!

That's it!

It's Tracey! Lily was jealous and she just said all that stuff to make herself feel better.

It's all very clear to me now.

**Prongs, did you reckon it's because you were late?**

Oh, right. But I was only fifteen minutes late, tops. What kind of controlling, dominating person cares if someone's a bit late?

**Apparently, Lily did care. **

Hey, Padfoot! You sound smart! Almost like Moony.

Have you been taking lessons from him? Is he giving lessons on being smarter? Because Lily could use some.

And Peter. I just saw him drooling over Hannah Lane, and _everyone _knows she doesn't go out with anyone, even me.

And he thinks _he _has a chance?

I'm not being mean, really. It's just that he'll end up with a broken heart from rejection. Like me.

Moony just came back from the meeting.

He read over what I wrote and reckons I should back off from Lily for a while.

I told him I'd die of Lily-deprivation, but he insists that distance brings people closer.

And said this weird thing (he called it a proverb) that if you really love someone, you have to let them go. If they love you in return, then they'll come back.

So, I'm going to _back-off_.

No matter how much it hurts.

Because I think I really do love Lily.

I'm not sure why.

I think it's because she's the only girl I've ever met who's honest with me, and doesn't suck up to me because I'm a handsome Quidditch star.

I think it might have something to do with the way her hair swishes when she moves, and how her green eyes get brighter when she's angry, and how she smiles.

Not that she's ever smiled at _me_.

And how she laughs (ditto) and how she's the smartest witch in the school and how she helps first-years find their way even though they're rude little imps.

And how she's utterly perfect, yet has flaws. Like she lies to teachers, and eavesdrops, and screams at me even though I didn't do anything wrong.

Oh, Merlin. I sound like a sap!

Sirius must NEVER read this page.

Or my reputation will be shatter beyond repair! I'll be called a poof!

I better go hide this book.

* * *

Remember. No talking to Lily unless absolutely necessary. And if I have to, I need to talk in a polite voice, in a aloof manner.

She's just another girl. A stunningly beautiful girl who I love.

Aw, bugger. She just entered the Charms classroom.

She sat down in her seat next to me. Ignoring her, I continue writing in my diary.

Hah. I just chanced a glance at her and she looks confused. Probably wondering why my adorable voice isn't greeting her.

If you ask me, she's going to be the first one to crack.

"Potter, are you ignoring me?" Lily asked huffily.

She's a smart girl.

Smiling breezily at her, I flippantly answer, "Course not. I just have something to do." I gesture towards the textbook in front of me and _pretend _to take notes.

Frowning, she skeptically returns, "Since when is something more important than me? I mean…bothering me is usually your first priority."

She sounds a bit hurt.

Hah. It's working. I must thank Moony.

I sigh wearily, "I never wanted to bother you, Lily. And I've decided to give up on you. You obviously hate me. It's a lost cause."

She snapped, "Well, good. I'm glad you won't bother me anymore."

I ignore this comment and restrain myself from repeating that _I never meant to bother her_. Obviously, she has trouble getting this in her head.

**You're doing great, mate. Evans looks like a wand got shoved up her nose. **

Moony was right. I must remember to thank him.

I continue pretending to take notes, and remaining silent. Flitwick entered the class and beamed, "We're learning Disappearing charms today. The incantation is _Disaparto_. To perform this charm on someone, you must rap them sharply on the head. The charm is a non-verbal one, which makes it difficult to master."

Lily informed me haughtily, "I already know this spell. You may practice if you like, but on yourself."

"Oh, no, I know the spell already."

She nodded curtly, "Then we'll discuss our project. Meet me in the library at five. Try to be on time, but I won't get my hopes up."

I wisely commented, "Getting your hopes up does lead to disappointment most of the time."

She gave me a funny look and agreed quietly, "It does."

Maybe I have something on my face.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**Tracey: I really need a description of you (looks, House, etc.) that you'd like me to write you as. I'm planning on casting you as Lily's best friend.**

**Danu 3: **Thanks for sticking with me! I really appreciate it! And I am planning for Lily and Sirius to meet up soon and become friends. ONLY friends. I won't do a Define Perfection thing with this story.

**LJ Fan: **Nah, James wouldn't hit Lily. He loves her too much. And I got the McGonagall thing from the fifth book where Remus confides that he had been made Prefect so he could control James and Sirius somewhat.

**Serenity Rose: **James is a bit…thick…And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the HBP was a bit rushed and weird. And all moms, sweet or not, hate swearing, I imagine.

**Kraftdiner1256: **Thanks for the review!

**Jersey Princess: **I'm sorry if I offended you!

**Starburstsweetie: **Thank you for the compliment, I simply ADORE Meg Cabot. And I agree that the PD movies are totally whack.

**Animerocksjapanrocks: **Thanks for the review!

**Inubecka: **Lol, I love the dialogue about James. Totally him.

**JeevesandWooster: **Thanks for sticking with me!

**Ophelia: **Thanks for the review and compliments!

**BrownEyes90: **Awesome, I love your name. And Celina, sadly, isn't my real name.

**Ronniekinzluvr: **Lily's not mean, she just tends to be a bit biased about people. And I hate the 'killer' in the sixth as well…

**MissCheviousHP: **OMG, you are like, my favoritest reviewer ever! And I totally think that poor Sirius did have to face a lot of prejudices when he was in Hogwarts, on account of his being a Black and related to people like Malfoy, Bellatrix, etc. I'm guessing you meant Harry was a bit confuddled in the sixth book? I read it the day it came out. BTW, thanks for adding me to your C2. And you totally flatter me, THANK YOU! And I agree, Peter is so NOT a Marauder. And the sixth did have a lot of info, but it was all about Voldemort. I would have liked to see a bit about L/J and the Marauders.

**Angelic Chocolate Fairy: **I plan on two updates per week: Wednesdays and Sundays. Hopefully, the story will be finished by October. Except I won't be able to make next week's updates, until Sunday, since I'm going on vacation. And I totally agree that the sixth book felt like a filler, and I was disappointed when JKR didn't reveal anything about L/J.

**RussianLeague: **Thanks, and I'm curious to what other fic of mine you find a classic.

Randomisation: Thanks for the review!

**Bloomsgrl: **Thanks for the review!

**Reader: **Thanks for the review!

**James's Snitch Boxers Lover: **I LOVE your name! Thanks for the review!

**Reina de la Noche: **Thanks for the review! And I agree that my previous Confessions were, sadly, all alike.

**Psychopenguin16**: Each one to his own. Personally, I like the fifth book the best, and the fourth second.

**Amber Tinted: **I love that comment as well. I remember hearing it somewhere and decided it was just too James-y to pass up.

**FontGirl: **Buying a diary on sale sounds like something Sirius would do…

**Writersblock777: **Absolutely. I adored the fifth, it was very gripping the way Harry was acting like a typical teenager, but JKR made it work. And the H/G thing did happen out of nowhere. One book, he barely knows her and the next, he's snogging her?

**MariaCachucha: **Thanks for the review!

**Jenny: **Thanks for the review!

**Emily: **Thanks for the review!

**IvyClimbing**: Sigh, it is annoying when you don't get reviews. But some of my friends tell me I'm being greedy and 10 is enough, but I totally disagree. If I work hard on my stories, the least the readers can do is write a few words of acknowledgement.

**Ebonyquill: **Thanks for the review! I love the lists too!

**Rebecca Victoria Rushton: **Thanks for the review!

**Amanda**: Thanks for the review! James is going to get less arrogant. And the adding people in, that's only Tracey so far. She's been a great reviewer, and has reviewed most of my chapters in most of my works. Adding her in is my way of showing appreciation.

**Snape'sOpera Rose: **Thanks for the review!

**DevinJamie Pickrell: **James is thick, there's no escaping it. Unfortunately, he can't realize his mistakes on his own, but he will soon. And thanks for the compliments!

**Beth: **You are tooooooo sweet!

**Le Noir De Adhara: **I love that line too…and I hate Snape too.

**Hazelocean: **Thanks for the review!

**K8e Bell: **Phantom Princess? You've been talking to Riya! She told me about you and how you're a totally awesome person. And forget it, you were NOT rude. What dog thing were you referring to?

**Prongsie-Jamesie: **Thanks for the review! And James DID screw it up, surprise, surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

This is turning out to be quite difficult.

Today in the Charms class, Lily proceeded to ignore me back after setting the time of our project-work. Everyone knows you're not supposed to ignore a person who was ignoring _you _first. It's like _the _unwritten rule.

Obviously, Lily must have missed this lesson.

I was kind of envisioning this scene where Lily would fall to her knees and beg me to talk to her.

The Ideal Scene

Me: _nothing (I'm ignoring her, remember?)_

Lily: Oh, James! _Falls to her knees and looks up at me beseechingly_

Me: _nothing_

Lily: Oh, James! I beg you! Please talk to me! I must hear your charming and ever so deep and masculine voice or I'll die!

Me: _raise an eyebrow in a suave manner_

Lily: James, I love you! I was such a cow, not seeing how perfect and absolutely incredible you are!

Me: It's about time you noticed. Here's a hanky.

Lily: _swooning_

_Then we get together and live happily ever after._

_**-THE END-**_

As you may have noticed, nothing like this happened. My dream, sadly, remained such.

Erg.

On the other hand, I'm plotting revenge against Snivelly. It has to be discreet, so Lily won't know it was me.

Sirius agrees with me. The oily git must be punished for ruining _Mission: Make James Un-Arrogant_.

Remus just sighed and looked up at the enchanted ceiling which looks like the sky but isn't. It's actually a cleverly placed charm to _make _it look like it was the sky.

I read about it in _Hogwarts: A History_. Yes, it is quite shocking that I read a book willingly. Actually, I read it so I could impress Lily with my newfound knowledge.

Surprisingly, she retorted, "Oh, keep your petty facts to yourself, Potter."

**Oi, Prongs. I just heard Matilda Johnson saying her brother's going out with Evans. You know Daniel? That idiot bloke we messed with last year?**

Silly boy. There's no way in heck that Lily would go out with _Johnson _after realizing he was a retard. She said so herself in the love-life conversation we had a few weeks ago.

_James, that was before she realized you were the one who made him dump her._

Remus, you of all people should know Lily is just in denial and couldn't date anyone else.

God, you guys are seriously pissing me off. I'm heading to the Astronomy Tower where I can get some peace from gossiping blokes WHO WON'T STOP BUGGING ME!

There.

* * *

Incredible hell.

Either my brain is delusional or the whole world has tipped over its axis. Actually the earth is actually already tipped slightly on its axis.

This is thanks to Harold Morton the IV, a sixth century wizard whose magic was a _tad _bit too strong and caused a huge rock to hit Earth when he was experimenting with magnets. He managed to get rid of the huge hole, but the Earth remained off-axis.

The stupid Muggles try to explain this with some wanker idea about how Earth's poles are magnetic or something like that.

Anyways, back to me and my experience in the Tower.

So, I was looking for some _peace_, right? Since Remus and Sirius wouldn't stop writing in my diary that Lily and that Johnson bloke are going out.

Well, turns out they were _right_.

Lily, once again, had a brief moment of insanity.

I blame this on Remus. Being deprived of me, she must have gone insane.

When I got to the Tower, there was a couple snogging relentlessly in the corner.

Three guesses to who they were.

Ding ding! Right in one.

Lily and Daniel.

While my blood pressure rose to fantastic heights, I bellowed, "Bloody hell!"

The couple sprang apart and Daniel choked, "Po…Potter?"

Lily defiantly glared at me, and curtly snapped, "I'll thank you not to interrupt me and my _boyfriend_, Potter."

I flailed my hands, "_Boyfriend_? You just said he was a retard a few weeks ago!"

Scowling, Lily informed me, "That was before I realized he chucked me because of you and Black."

Daniel remained mute, while his face turned steadily green.

I cast a withering look at him.

Turning to Lily, I incredulously asked, "You'd rather go out with a tosser like him than me? Look at him! He's absolutely spineless."

Lily stamped her foot and turned red, "Don't you dare insult him! You! What you do to _Snivellus _is brave, I suppose? It's always you and Black against just him! You make me _sick_!"

I defensively shot back, "I take Snivellus on myself plenty of times! Like that time I was late for our project!"

"Oh, so that's why you were late? You were torturing him?" Lily cried.

"He called you a Mud…Mud…bad name! And I was about to hex him but McGonagall showed up and stopped me!"

Lily angrily retorted, "Stop watching out for me! I can take care of myself! You're not my boyfriend, you're not even my _friend_! Why would you care?"

"BECAUSE I BLOODY FANCIED YOU!" I yelled.

Lily stopped screaming and stared at me, as if she had never quite seen a bloke blow up and yell their affections.

Daniel covered his mouth with his hands and ran out of the room, and we heard the faint sounds of someone throwing up.

I stiffly said, "Anyways, I'm sorry I disturbed you. I'll just be going…"

Quietly, Lily called out, "Good luck with your new girlfriend."

I turned back and asked bewilderingly, "My girlfriend? I don't have one."

Her eyes widened and she flushed, "Oh…right. But…you've been ignoring me. And you said you _fancied _me. Not _fancy_. You said it in the past tense."

Girls. Must they dissect _every _word?

I frowned, "I meant I fancied you when I attacked Snivellus. I still do. And I was ignoring you because I thought that was what you wanted."

Miserably, Lily shrugged, "I thought that was what I wanted too."

Elatedly, I asked, "You mean you'll go out with me?"

"No. You still have to prove that you're not an arrogant prick." Lily replied, but with a ghost of a smile tugging on her lips.

"Er…right. How do I do that, again?"

She brushed past me, smiling, "You have a long time to figure that out."

**So, basically, Evans said she'll go out with you after you do a Moony?**

Yup.

Maybe I should start quoting Shakespeare or something.

**Yeah. Sure. Anyways, I thought of the perfect prank to pull on Snivellus. **

Sorry, Sirius. I'd help, but I need to find some books in the library that Shakespeare wrote. Carry it off with Peter. Moony would help, I think, but he's in the Hospital Wing.

Tonight's full moon, after all. And are you sure you and Peter will be able to handle Moony alone?

**James, I know exactly what to do tonight. No worries,**

Well…if you're sure. I mean, I'd join you guys (and believe me, I felt like a right tosser when I told Remus I couldn't) but Lily refuses to reschedule because of her Charms Club meetings and tutoring.

I feel horrid that I won't be there to help Moony, but he insisted he'd be fine.

**James. Believe me. Everything's fine. Go, you're going to be late.**

Have fun, then. I guess.

* * *

Lily looked at me in shock, "You're on time."

I glanced at the clock in the library and informed her, "Actually, I'm three minutes and fifteen seconds early."

"You're _early_." She echoed, looking worried. Her emerald eyes scanned my face and she held up three fingers.

Lily demanded, "How many fingers?"

"Er…three."

She frowned and furrowed her brows, "Maybe I'm dreaming. Or are you sick? No, wait! Are you experiencing some strange side effect from a hex cast on you by your friends, particularly Sirius?"

Looking at her strangely, I slowly said, "No, no, and no. I'm just…more responsible."

Sarcastically, she replied, "Now why didn't _I _think of that? Sit down, Potter."

I flicked through my Quidditch notes and said in a business-like manner, "I took some notes on…erm, spells we could do. But I'd like to hear what you came up with first."

Impressed, she glanced at the lengthy notes, "I'm impressed. You took notes! Can I read them?"

I shoved them out of reach, "They're really messy. Only I can read them. Even Remus can't read them, and he can read ten different languages."

"Right." She says, still looking impressed.

"So, what spells do you think we should do?"

She glanced down at her notes (of course, hers were _real_) and said, "Well, the Apparating one sounds pretty good." She looked up at me, obviously waiting for a comment.

"Yeah, it does. Great idea." I genuinely say.

I was actually thinking more along the lines of color-changing ones we've used in the past on Snivellus. Then I could have used him for the demonstration. But Apparating is pretty good, too.

Lily smiles, looking pleased, "Can you Apparate? I can. I just learned over the summer."

I roll my eyes at her, "Can a Potter Apparate? Please. We are like, the Apparating Gods."

She lets out a small chuckle and mocks, "Silly me, I forgot! All hail the great Apparating God!"

Going along with her, I order, "I demand more respect."

Swinging her hands up and down, she laughs, "You are worthy, we are not."

I sigh in mock disappointment, "It's so hard to find good worshippers these days."

Snickering, she reminds me, "It seems Pettigrew fits that job perfectly, actually."

"Oh…Wormtail? Yeah, he's a regular worshipper. At one point, Sirius asked if he was gay. Peter turned a terrific shade of purple."

She smiled, "But you still take care of him."

I shrug, "Well, it's not like he has any other friends. Real friends. You know, simple friends are the ones who tell you to ignore someone insulting you. Real friends jump at the person themselves."

Staring at me, she asked softly, "Like you do for me?"

"Someone who fancies you will jump the person, even if you hate them." I added quietly.

Lily flushed, and looked away. She mumbled, "Let's get back to that project."

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Hey guys. So, Lily is beginning to see the 'error of her ways'. And James will be deflating soon…with a major event that'll happen over the next few chapters.**

**Guess what the event is? JKR has mentioned it…**

**Anyways, I'd reply to all of you, but there's some rumor going around that ffnet isn't allowing authors to reply to reviews, and I won't risk it. **

**If anyone of you wants to talk to me, send me an email. My email address is on my profile page. It's srkforever (at) Make sure to replace (at) with the symbol.**

**So, REVIEW as always.**

**Depruding will have a long chapter up by Sunday and the Confessions…I picked up by Saturday.**

**So, click the purple button and guess what the event is…**

**Kisses,**

**Celina**


	8. Chapter 8

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Two hours later, we were reading books feverishly, searching for any information we might have missed.

Well, by 'we' I mean only Lily.

I was doodling mindlessly, and watched as a dog's form emerged which suspiciously looked like Sirius.

Merlin, I hope everything's fine…

No. I refuse to go over this enlightening conversation with my brain for the millionth time. Everything is OK. Sirius and Peter can handle Remus. They've done this a thousand times before…

But then again, I was with them. This is the first night they're alone…and Peter's such a bloody coward, he won't be able to help Sirius at all…

And Sirius's dog is _pretty _small (I hope he never reads this comment) and might not be able to handle a fully formed werewolf.

Oh god, oh god…

I think I'm hyperventilating.

Lily looks up from the book she's scanning and curiously asked, "James, are you…OK?"

"Me? Of…of course I am." I answer in an embarrassingly high voice.

This, of course, reminds me of my voice breaking in fourth year. A highly mortifying time where I went around squeaking like a girl and was met with giggles and snorts of laughter.

Lily cast me a suspicious look then went back to reading.

Do I have a paper bag in my schoolbag by any chance? When Muggles hyperventilate, they breathe into one. I know. I've seen it in movies.

Hm. Inspection of my schoolbag results in no paper bag.

Oh, look! I have a _Quidditch Weekly_ in my bag! Merlin, I've been searching for it for…

Well, I hadn't realized I lost it in the first place. But all the same, I'm glad I found it.

On the cover, there's this giant picture of Kirk and Lydia Krum. They were married two months ago. A sensational marriage, the magazine called it. Kirk is a key player for Bulgaria (seeker) and Lydia's brother is on the Irish team. They should have hated each other, but they ended up falling in love.

Pity. Everyone knows once a Quidditch star is married, there is NO way he will ever play competitively, thanks to his dominating wife who refuses to let him risk his life for a game.

Women are so daft, really. They think Quidditch is _just _a sport.

Lily looked at me and asked sharply, "Are you taking notes, James?" Her voice is accusing, and full of reproach.

Hastily, I assure her, "Yes, of course I am."

"Are you telling me you're taking notes on _Apparating _from a _Quidditch _magazine?" Lily snarls, looking murderous.

I guiltily say, "Well, you can't expect me to read _textbooks_. The only people who read textbooks are ge-"

My eyes suddenly flashed to the numerous textbooks lying in front of Lily, and stuffed in her schoolbag.

Saying 'geeks' and ending my sentence will quite possibly end my life.

"Are…um, smart. And you know me- Mr. Daft." I finish lamely.

A small smile quirked Lily's lips, "I believe that's the first time you've ever insulted yourself. Needless to say, it gives me great satisfaction that you're becoming less of a prick, albeit slowly. It's a nice change from your usual attitude. You know-"

As if that wasn't humiliating enough, she added in a high, girly voice, "_Lily, Look at me, I'm soo perfect_."

I stared at her in horror, "Is that supposed to be an imitation of _me_?"

She ignored me as she continued, "I hope you keep this new attitude up."

I bit my lip uncertainly and asked, "I don't really sound like that, do I? You know, like a girl?"

Lily smiled mysteriously at me, and with that, she cheerfully went back to reading.

I swear that girl has problems. One second she's ready to rip off my head, the next she's humming.

I'll chalk it up in my _List of Weird Things Girls Do_. You know, the whole mood-jumping thing?

* * *

Oh my god.

Am I dreaming?

I must be. Because what just happened…what I _think _just happened…can never happen. It's impossible! It's as unfeasible as…Snape having clean-

Snape.

In my life, I have felt a variety of emotions towards him: disgust, scorn, hatred, amusement…but today, I feel _sorry _for him.

_Sorry_.

For Snape?

If you told me a month ago that I would feel sorry for Severus Snape AKA Snivellus, I would have draped my arm around your shoulders and said in a comforting voice, "I have dreams like those too. Well, mines involve a certain girl declaring her everlasting love for me. But man, they're not coming true, so all we can do is proceed with the life we have."

But now…

Oh. That twitchy first year Dumbledore keeps as a messenger squeaked, "The high and exalted Professor Dumbledore is ready to see you."

Another case of hero worship.

Dumbledore looked up from his desk, and motioned towards the chair opposite him. I sank down gratefully, because my knees were shaking so hard that I wasn't sure if I could've remained standing for long.

"Professor, I just want to say that Remus had nothing to do with all this." I quickly said.

"I know, James. I have already to talked to Sirius."

Sirius.

Traitor.

I gritted my teeth and looked away, "I'd advise you not to listen to him."

Dumbledore said quietly, "Perhaps if _you _had listened to him, James, this…catastrophe never would have happened."

"I listened to him _plenty_. But did that stop him from…attempting _murder _on a fellow student?" I loudly answered, glaring at the Sneak-o-snope adorning Dumbledore's desk.

Peering at me from behind his half-moon glasses, Dumbledore asked sadly, "Did you really listen to him? Or did you ignore him for other people…namely Miss Evans?"

Of course not! I felt like barking. But then again…

I kind of did.

Like when I totally blew Sirius off so I could go pester Lily to go out with me, and when I brushed him and Remus off tonight, so I could study with Lily, and when I…(at this point, my brain is overwhelmed with memories of me brushing off Sirius)

Oh my god!

It is true.

I'm a horrible friend.

But…he betrayed Moony!

"But he betrayed Moony…er, Remus! I mean, I hate Snape as much as he does, but you don't see me going around trying to get him killed!"

I chose not to mention the countless times I told Snivellus that jumping off the Astronomy Tower was the ride of anyone's life, and that he _wouldn't _be injured because of the (nonexistent) magical barrier on the ground below it which would cushion his fall.

Dumbledore nodded at this, "That he did, but perhaps he had a deeper reason than simply resenting Snape."

I shrugged, "What good is _reason _now? Remus is going to be expelled, and Sirius is going to Azkaban."

Narrowing his light blue eyes, Dumbledore strongly said, "Not if I have a say about it, and I assure you, James, that Remus will continue his studies here in Hogwarts, and Sirius will certainly receive a suspension among other punishment, but no student of mine will be sent to those foul Dementors."

I smiled wanly, "That's great Professor, Remus shouldn't be…what! Sirius isn't even going to be expelled?"

Touching his fingertips together in a gesture that vaguely reminded me of a prayer, Dumbledore sighed, "I don't believe you're as eager as to have your best friend sent to the gallows as much as you may act like it."

"Of course I don't want Sirius sent to the gallows!" I indignantly informed him. "I just want him to get the punishment he deserves for stabbing all of us in the back!"

"I believe he has already received part of this punishment, and will soon receive the rest when he finds he has almost lost his three best friends."

Almost? I was already plotting a revenge which included turning the whole _school _on him.

Dumbledore noticed my grimace, and mentioned, "I would like you two to talk once. Then afterwards, you are free to do as you choose."

I don't see how me yelling at hexing Sirius will do any good. I mean, I won't change my decision just because he has a Bat-Bogey hex on him.

* * *

Confuddled.

Utterly, impeccably bemused.

Words that describe that blond girl who keeps following me although I have told her countless number of times that my heart belongs to Lily, but my lips aren't reserved, so let's get at it in the third floor broom-closet?

Nay. Words that describe _my _state of mind.

Shocking, isn't it?

So I had a talk with Sirius. And I guess I kind of see why he tried to get Snape killed. But that doesn't make it right, does it? I mean, if everyone who deserved to be killed was killed, then our world would suffer a lack of government officials.

This is my conversation with Sirius:

**Me**: _Silence_

**Sirius**: Look mate, I just want-

**Me**: Don't call me mate.

**Sirius**: James, then. Or Potter, or whatever you want to be called. Just listen, please?

**Me:** Oh, sure. I'll listen to your pathetic excuse for betraying all of us.

**Sirius**: I did not fucking _betray _you guys!

**Me**: Oh, really? I suppose some spirit must have possessed you and made you tell Snape about Mo…Remus. Lupin to _you_ now.

**Sirius**: No! I accept that I told Snape about _Moony_…but mate, betrayal was the last thing on my mind when this happened.

**Me**: Oh, so you have an excuse?

**Sirius**: You want to know why I told? Just read this, and tell me whether you would've have done what I had! _Snatches crumpled parchment from robe pocket and shoves it into my hand._

(Letter is copied below for future reference)

_Sirius,_

_I'm worried. Mum was talking about how Regulus joined He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and how his friends were leading him to the right path._

_One is that man whose marrying Narcissa…Lucius Malfoy, and the other I believe attends your school. Severus Snape._

_Please try to protect Reggie. We both know that despite his hard words, he's really an innocent child._

_Your loving cousin,_

_Tonks _

**Me**: Regulus joined Voldemort?

**Sirius**: Yes! And that filth Snivellus is the one who led him towards this! I just _know _he did this to get us back, and Regulus is going to die because Voldemort is so utterly evil and…James, I'm _scared _too.

**Me**: You hate Regulus, don't you?

**Sirius**: _Pausing _I don't reckon I do. He's my brother. We grew up together, and after knowing him for sixteen years, it's just bloody hard to see him getting killed. I mean, I hate what he supports- Voldemort and all that Pureblood rubbish, but it's not his fault! Mum and Dad are the ones who raised him to believe all this! He's so bloody innocent, he'll believe anything they say.

**Me**: Oh Merlin, Sirius. Why didn't you tell me before?

**Sirius**: I wanted to, but Evans bought up that thing about my family being Death Eaters and I was afraid you'd think I was one too. And then you might never speak to me.

**Me**: Look, I will never, ever think that about you! Don't I know how much you hate that stuff? And Lily was just trying to be hurtful, she didn't mean what she said.

**Sirius**: I'm not blind or deaf. I know how the rest of the students look at me. Everyone's just _waiting _for me to show my true Black colors, and the second I do, they'll haul me off to Azkaban without even bothering to find out if it's true.

**Me**: Sirius, that'll never happen.

**Sirius**: Yes it will! With that Snivellus…what happened to him anyway?

**Me**: Peter came to the library tonight and told me everything. I reached the Willow just as Snape was poking the tree…and I stopped him. Mate, you have no idea what that guy has gone though in his…anyway, I stopped him. But I think he saw Moony. And knows about him being a werewold.

**Sirius**: Shit.

**Me**: Moony knows. I visited him in the Hospital Wing and he knows that he almost attacked some students, but he doesn't know who. All he remembers is two boys and a flash. That was Dumbledore stunning him. Merlin, he's so scared…I reckon you should talk to him. Explain everything. He'll forgive you.

**Sirius**: Have you?

**Me**: Right now…I don't know. I know why you did it, and maybe I would've done the same. But that doesn't make it right, Sirius.

**Sirius**: I know. And I really am sorry. If I had been thinking, I would never have made this huge mistake.

**Me**: If you had been thinking, you would've known we were mates and you could tell me everything.

**-Fin-**

Well, that's what happened.

I'm still not sure whether I've forgiven Sirius. It's not up to me, I suppose. It's all up to Moony now, and I just hope he'll make the right decision.

Problem is, I have no clue what the _right _decision is.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Eeps! I'm sooooo sorry for not updating since forever, but I had loads of stuff to do.**

**Please review! It really helps the author update faster, if you know what I mean…nudge, nudge. And feel FREE to ask any question that's making you as confused/bemused as our darling James Potter/Blonde ditz. **

**Kisses,**

**Celina **

**PS: A bunch of authors (including yours truly!) are soon posting a Round Robin Story, which is basically a story that gets passed around with each author adding a chapter or two. And it's LOADS of fun, and a REALLY good way to get a variety of writing styles in one story! And I can personally assure you that it'll knock your socks/other foot accessories off.  
**

**As more info comes, I'll post it on my profile. **

**Check it out.**

**Sneak Preview of the next chapter of _Confessions of a Marauder:_**

**……**

"_**Sniv…Snape, don't go in there!"**_

**……………**

"_**For once in my life, Potter, I'm going to be the hero. And you think you can just rob me of this chance, like you Marauders did with every other chance? Not on your pathetic life."**_

**……………………**

_**A flash of light blinded us suddenly, and he crumpled to the ground, lying in a silent heap.**_

**………………………………………**


	9. Chapter 9

**Confessions of a Marauder**

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_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I reckon I'm going bonkers.

All those people lie, you know. The ones who say, "Thinking makes you smarter." Well, I have news for them.

_It is a lie._

Thinking only makes you bonkers.

Case number one: me.

Merlin, I keep thinking about what might be happening five floors up in the Hospital Wing. By now, Sirius and Peter told Remus.

So far, I have thought up _one hundred_ possible scenarios, in which ninety nine percent of the time, Sirius is either:

A. Severely **maimed **

B. **Killed**

C. **Transfigured** into a horrific, demonic creature

In the other one percent, Remus forgives Sirius and everyone lives happily ever after. Of course, Sirius performed an Obliverating Charm on him.

Oh god. I think I hear footsteps.

There's no sound of dragging, so I'll assume that whoever the walker is, they're not severly maimed/killed/transfigured.

"Hey James." Sirius greets me, smiling.

HEY JAMES?

I've been sitting on my bed, HYPERVENTILATING, going absolutely bonkers, thinking about what would happen to him when Remus found out, and all he says is "_Hey James"_?

I knew it! He preformed the Obliverating Charm!

"You preformed the Obliverating Charm!" I burst out, glaring at him. Really, some friend he is!

Crap. I just flat out told a maniac that I knew his secret. Now he's probably going to lunge at me like in those Muggle movies, with crazed eyes, and hiss, "Now that you know, I can't leave you alive!" and he'll pull out a knife, which in true cliché fashion will gleam in the nonexistent light, and I'll squeal girlishly yet in a masculine way, "No, it's me, your friend! Your mate!" and he'll laugh crazily and-

"James? You look kind of peaky." Sirius informed me, flopping down on his bed.

So. He's going to wait until I'm asleep to perform the dirty deed.

"And for your kindest information, I didn't place an Obliverating Charm on Remus. I wrote him a letter and gave it to him. He was sleeping."

Oh.

Right.

So I don't have a crazed-serial-killer-with-a-gleaming-knife-and-psychotic-voice for a best friend.

"Erm…I knew that. I was just playing you, mate."

"Huh. Anyway, something's been bothering me, James. It's what you said yesterday. About Sniv-Snape going through a lot or something. Is…is it true"

I shrugged, looking away, "Yeah." I noticed the change of Snape's name.

Sirius was watching me carefully, and he pressed, "I want to know what happened yesterday."

"Nothing. He was going into the Willow, and I stopped him, and Dumbledore came, and that's pretty much it."

Sirius sat up, frowning, "That's not the whole story. I want to hear about him."

Oh, Merlin. Does he have to dredge that up? Guilt twisted in my stomach, and the familiar panging of shame pounded in my head.

But, you know, maybe he should know. Because we were all at fault. And the least we could do was try to understand Snape.

"Lily and I were studying in the library." I started.

Sirius snorted, "Let me guess. Evans was studying, and you were probably reading _Playwizard_."

I indignantly answered, "I was _not_. I was reading _Quidditch Weekly_. Besides, stop interrupting, it's rude!"

Casting a glowering look at him, as if to challenge him to open his mouth, I huffed, "Now, we were in the library when Peter came running up to us."

"He can run?" Sirius's disbelieving tone was evident.

"Yeah, I was just as shocked- _stop _interrupting me! Now, he was all like, Prongs, Sirius told everything to Snape. And I was all like, yeah right, because I thought you were totally trustworthy. And then I saw his face, which was all sweaty and scared and icky, and I was like, crap, he did? And Lily was all, what the bloody hell is going on here, and I ditched her and ran to the Willow."

Sirius nodded silently, looking abashed.

"Then I got to the Willow. Snape was poking the tree with a branch, and I yelled, 'Stop!'. And he turned around, raising his wand, and screamed, 'Leave me alone, Potter! For once in my life, Potter, I'm going to be the hero. And you think you can just rob me of this chance, like you Marauders did with every other chance? Not on your pathetic life!' And he opened the door, and Moony leapt out at us. I dragged Snape out, and was about to transform, when a flash of light blinded us, and Remus crumpled to the floor, and we saw Dumbledore and Peter behind us."

Sirius injected, "What does he mean, steal his chances? We never stole anything!"

I looked away and mumbled, "Maybe, you know, we kind of did."

Sneering, Sirius replied, "He was the one who stole my brother. He was the one who always snitched on us to the Professors and Filch. He was the one who stole Evans from you, isn't he the only reason she always says no? Because of him, _our _lives got messed up."

I burst, "But we pranked him all the time! We were the ones who made everyone else look at him like he was…_contaminated_! We knew perfectly well everyone would take our side, and we still continued!"

Sirius was silent, dumbstruck.

Suddenly, all the thoughts that had made me squirm since the past day spilled.

"We always picked on him, even when he was defenseless, and we were always four against one, and we never thought about the Severus in Snivellus, all we cared about was the high of popularity, and that everyone thought we were _so _cool, strutting around and hexing him! And we never respected him, and always did our best to squish what little he might have left! Did we ever think about how _he _felt? Or how his life was? Or what consequences our actions might have?"

"Mate-"

"No! Did you know his dad is abusive? He beats his mum up for stupid reasons, like getting the wrong type of bread or talking to some other man! And Snape has to go home every summer and watch his dad practically kill her! When he was younger, he used to hide in the corners whenever it happened, and try to stop his dad, but all that happened was that his dad laid a punch on him too! A fice year old! And when he was thirteen, he hexed his dad and ran away, and his dad hospitalized his mum! Can you imagine the guilt? His mum's been in Mungo's ever since, and his dad's in prison!"

Sirius's face was white, and he looked ill.

"And he came to Hogwarts thinking maybe he could finally get a few friends, maybe a girl to marry, and we bloody _trampled _that idea! We're killers, Padfoot, you, me, Remus, and Peter! We killed Severus and made him into Snivellus the Deatheater! If Snape's a Deatheater, then we're the ones who pushed him to be one."

I fell silent, and felt a warm tear slip out of my right eye, and make its way down my cheek. Sirius's eyes were closed, and he was clenching his bedspread tightly.

Swiping at my cheek, I hollowly said, "I'm sorry I burst out like that."

Sirius whispered, "I…I never really thought about him. Shit, he has a home worse than I did, but at least I had you guys. And after tonight, losing you guys is my punishment. It's ironic, isn't it, that the one person who could relate to me most is the one I tortured?"

I remained quiet.

"I have to go take a smoke." Sirius abruptly stood up.

And despite what he said, about him taking a smoke or whatever, I know where he was really headed.

To Snape. To apologize.

I'm proud of him.

* * *

This is it. I've really lost it this time.

What happened was that I was sitting in the Common Room, staring into the fire. Thinking about Snape, and Sirius (who was home, suspended for a month) and Remus, who was still in the hospital, too ashamed to come out.

"Hi James."

I looked up and saw Lily, who looked at me pityingly. Making a small attempt to smile, I replied, "Hi. I'm sorry I ran out on you-"

"You don't have to say sorry, James." Lily had a strange look on her face, and her tone was fierce.

Frowning, I reminded her, "I ditched you at the library, remember? Merlin, you would've killed me by now a week ago."

Sniffling, Lily asked, "Do you have to remind me of my idiocy right now, you prick?"

Idiocy? Does that mean…

"Sirius wrote and told me everything. About you saving Snape, and all that stuff you found out about him. And that you feel so guilty, that it hurt him to see you that day. And I've heard about the mysterious bag of galleons someone left in Mrs. Snape's room at Mungo's."

I flushed, looking at the floor, "Is that so?"

Lily grabbed my hand, and said, "Funnily enough, that was the day you skipped school to 'visit Sirius', I believe was the reason you gave McGonagall. You've really grown up, James."

Looking at her shining eyes, I ventured, "Enough to get me a date to Hogsmeade with a pretty redhead?"

"You prat! You have the worst timing!" Lily cried, looking at me crossly.

My heart sinking, I shrugged, "It was worth a try. Even if you did say 'no'."

Smiling, Lily asked, "Who said anything about saying no? James Potter, after asking me out four-hundred-ninety-three times, you finally have a yes."

At that point, my head hit the table with a smack.

I shudder to think of the number of brain cells that lost me.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Yup, CoaM is almost finished…maybe two more chapters. **

**This chapter, I think, is my favorite out of all the chapters I've written. It gives a lot more insight in Snape and Sirius and James then the earlier chapters, which will hopefully settle all the people who call my work 'shallow'. **

**I love this chapter, and I just want you guys to review with your opinions of this chapter.**

**Love always,**

**Celina Black**


	10. Chapter 10

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Remus came back today.

Madame Promfrey basically told him to shove his arse out of bed so she could put it to better use, e.g: Muggle first-years faking stomach/chest/head pain to get out of flying lessons.

Anyways, when he came back, his face was so gaunt and sickly, that I went, "Blimey, when did you get run over by a dragon?" Then I shut my mouth, realizing that what I said was horribly rude.

To his credit, Remus managed a feeble smile, "When did hell freeze over? I noticed you and Lily looking quite cozy back there."

I grinned, "Touché, Moony."

Remus slumped into the chair next to me, and asked, "Seriously, what happened between you guys?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Lily just realized that she couldn't resist my manly, handsome self anymore, and she swooned into my arms-"

"Shut up, you wanker." Lily primly told me, sitting down on my other side. I stopped midsentence, and glared at Remus, who was grinning wider.

She turned to Remus and explained, "Black told me about what happened, and I realized James must have matured if he saved Snape."

Glancing at me, Remus agreed, "I guess he must have. A week ago, James would have been eagerly planning pranks for Snape's funeral."

I crossly informed them, "You know, I'm right here. And I don't appreciate me best friend and my girlfriend ganging up on me, thanks."

Girlfriend.

I'm wearing a huge, goofy smile as I'm writing this, but I really feel like throwing off my shirt and dancing on the table, screeching, "IN YOUR FACE!" to every bloke who told me Lily would never agree to date me. Particularly that Johnson guy.

Hee hee.

Lily told me later that I was right. About Daniel being a wanker. But then she said I was an even bigger one, because one of the unwritten rules for girls is that no guy is allowed to insult their boyfriend, no matter how idiotic the boyfriend is.

Which I think is stupid. If I had a stupid boyfriend, and refused to acknowledge it, I'd appreciate someone telling me, so I don't waste my time.

Not that I want a boyfriend.

Because I have a girlfriend, who is more than OK. In fact, she may well be the bloody hottest girl in the world.

Anyways, Lily and I agreed to be a couple, even though we haven't technically gone out on a date yet. But you know, it''s hard for her to resist after all that snogging we did last night.

What I Found Out About Lily Evans Last Night

1. She's a damn **good kisser**.

2. She has a little **birthmark** on her…no, _you _don't need to know where. Just know that she has one. Somewhere.

3. She's a strong believer in **house-elf rights**.

4. She first realized that I have boyfriend potential when she **EAVESDROPPED** on that conversation with McGonagall a week ago.

5. Lily Evans is **NOT the Perfect Prefect** I thought she was. She's just as impish as me, but she's just better at not getting caught. (Example: When she was late that day she was forced to sit next to me, she had OVERSLEPT!)

6. She **loves tomato sauce on eggs**, but hates pumpkin juice.

7. And she **wants to name** her son **Harry** and her daughter **Ophelia** ever since she was eleven years old.

8. She wants to become an **auror**, like me, after Hogwarts.

9. She used to think I was gay for writing in my **diary**, but now she thinks it's **adorable**.

10. **She loves _me_**.

Have I seriously died and gone to heaven?

* * *

Fiddlesticks.

I knew my head thumping against the table wasn't good for me. I knew it! And now I'm completely STUPID and so completely BEFUDDLED that I considered actually doing my homework for McGonagall.

I reckon Lily's influence is rubbing off on me, though.

Anways, Lily and I are going out on a DATE tonight.

She's expecting some brilliant plan, where I take her to some five-star restaurant and on a romantic broomstick ride, but in reality…

_I have nothing_.

Not enough money, seeing that I dropped my year's allowance at Mungo's for Mrs. Snape. No broom, since Peter took mine and broke it.

AND NO IMAGINATION BECAUSE OF SAID BRAIN-THUMPING!

Bugger. Why couldn't my Arrogant-Prat brain cells have been destroyed?

Not that I have too many, you must realize.

Anyways, Lily and I are going out on our first date in three hours, and I have no idea what to do, so I'm running around the room like a bloody dragon whose eggs have been stolen.

"Mate. You need to breathe."

I cast a withering look at Remus, and snapped, "I know how to breathe, thanks. I just don't know where to take my girlfriend out."

Remus advised, "Make sure you take her someplace good. If you don't, she'll lose all confidence in your potential to be Prince Charming, which is a romantic figment of their imagination. Basically, make it good or she'll dump you."

"_Not _helping!"

Oh, great. As if I didn't have _enough _problems, I now have to worry about my girlfriend mentally comparing me to Prince Charming.

I can imagine the scoreboard now:

_James Potter: 0_

_Prince Charming: 998, 765, 001 (but whose counting?)_

Just fiddly-diddly _great_.

Aargh. What I need is a list. Of possible locations for **R**omantic **D**ate **o**f **t**he **C**entury **W**ith **t**he **H**andsomest **B**loke **A**live. Or simply, RDOTCWTHBA.

_Possible Locations for RDOTCWTHBA_

1. The Astronomy Tower: No. I can't do it there. Everyone knows that the Tower is where couples go to shag. No privacy. At all.

2. The Library: Can you imagine trying to snog with Madame Pince there? Not to mention the uncomfortable chairs.

3. The Room of Requirement: I would. But Sirius is probably in there. On a study date with some random girl. And they won't be studying.

4. ?

Maybe I should skip the country.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**I know it's short. **

**The next chapter will have Lily and James' first date. In the most unexpected of places.**

**And _no_, it won't be an empty classroom. **

**And expect an update for all stories tomorrow. Go to my profile for important updates.  
**

**Next chapter will have James/Lily fluff, and a bit of Remus's angsty side. **

**Send in your guesses as to where RDOTCWTHBA will take place. (James' and Lily's first date, for those of you who didn't read) The winners will have a character in Confessions of an Oblivious Head Girl after them.**

**REVIEW AS ALWAYS!**

**Kisses,**

**Celina **


	11. Chapter 11

**Confessions of a Marauder**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

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**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE ON BOTTOM!**

I reckon that went all right.

If, you know, all right means so superbly mind-blowing that my socks/shoes/other foot accessories were knocked off.

Actually, I just looked down and noticed my foot accessories currently are a pair of striped red and gold socks with my big toe sticking out and the other sock is a sickly color of yellow. Which were white when I bought them. Ages ago.

I _must _find those socks Remus gave me for Christmas last year. They're purple with snitches flying around, and they _sing _when it's time to wash them. A ruddy good invention if you ask me. I'm so clueless about matters such as laundry that's its not even funny. If I didn't have Pierre (the Potter family's French house-elf) and Remus, I would be walking around in smelly clothes.

So, this was me. Before the date.

**3:30-3:56**: Ran around my dormitory like a chicken with its head cut off.

**3:56-4:07**: Wrote a reply to Lily's owl, assuring her everything was perfectly under control, despite the yells and wall-kicking noises coming from my room. And the fact that Sirius ducked out of the room, screaming, sporting purple warts and green hair.

**4:07-4:32**: Attempted to flatten sorry excuse for hair. Tried everything from peanut butter to Muggle hairspray. Was unsuccessful. Was as stupid as to take advice from _Peter_. (Mental note: never do that again.)

**4:32-4:40**: Worried some more about where to take Lily.

**4:41**: Came up with brilliant plan.

**4:42-5:00: **Did research/preparation for brilliant plan.

And then, I went downstairs to pick Lily up.

She was dressed in a cozy white cardigan and Muggle jeans. And looked downright gorgeous. Which really _didn't _do anything for my nerves.

"This is for you." I flourished a bouquet of lilies, and she laughed, her eyes twinkling.

"How original. I love them, James."

Smugly, I replied, "I know. I asked your friend Tracey." I took her hand and led her out of the Common Room, smiling mysteriously at her.

"Are you alright? You look a bit wankered." Lily's worried voice asked.

OK. Maybe the mysterious smile part wasn't that good. Even though I practiced in front of the mirror for ten minutes.

Anyways, so we walked for a while in silence, and the only time we spoke was when I told her to make a right turn or something. Or to duck behind a tapestry since I heard Filch's vile cat, Mrs. Norris, approaching. But it wasn't a bad silence.

You see, there are two types of silences:

1. **Awkward Silence**: This is exactly what the name suggests. Awkward. Example: when a nerd/loser/social reject asks out a popular person, where the latter is trying to decide the best way to break the news that they would rather die a miserable, lonely death than go out with the likes of them. This can be accentuated by cricket noises. Another example: When my mum tells 'the most hilarious joke ever' and the guests don't know if they're supposed to laugh or not.

2. **Comfortable Silence**: Once again, the name says it all. This is the silence between two friends or more-than-just-friends. Example: me and Lily walking down the empty hallways of Hogwarts.

All of a sudden, Lily laughed, and I turned to look at her. Not that it helped, because the only light coming in the corridor was that of a lone flickering torch.

"What?"

"I was just pondering the utter incredulity of our situation."

Huh?

"It sounds like English but I have no idea what you're saying." I told her frankly, frowning into the darkness.

Lily rumpled my hair affectionately, "James, you're so ado- James! What is in your _hair_?" Her tone was horrified, and completely confused.

"Erm…peanut butter, hairspray, lotion, and Zorton's Smoothening Hair Gel."

She slowly asked, "I can understand the last three but peanut butter?"

I indignantly replied, "Peter told me that peanut butter is great for hair."

Lily sighed irritably, "That nutter. James, love, peanut butter is for when you get gum in your hair. Or something equally sticky. Like that time my cousin, Bill, threw a wad of gum into my hair, and I had to cut off five inches of it."

Stupid Peter. I _knew _peanut butter was a wonky idea. (Mental note: hunt down this 'Bill' character and kill him.)

"Oh…wait, stop!" I halted, and stared at the portrait of the fruits. Reaching out, I began to tickle the pear, while striving to remain indifferent, as though I wasn't leading Lily into the best-kept secret of Hogwarts.

"James!" Lily breathed, watching as the entrance to the kitchens appeared. She looked at me and whispered, "How'd you know I was looking for a way to approach the house-elves about their enslavement?"

"Erm…lucky guess." I offered feebly, "Besides, um, you can do your whole Elf Right thing later. For now, we're on our date."

She smiled at me, "Alright then, Mr. Potter. Why're we in the kitchens?"

I gestured into the doorway, "Welcome to the Romantic Date of the Century with the Handsomest Bloke Alive AKA James Potter."

Lily raised her brows and stepped into the kitchens, eyes scanning the room. A frown settled on her lips, and her eyes steadily narrowed at me.

"Erm…this is the part where you swoon?" I questioned weakly. The romance books Peter's always reading suggested that girls love this kind of romance baloney. And then there was a delightful swooning scene, followed by a snogging session.

Just so you know, I don't go around reading _those _books. I may have just…flicked through a couple. Couple being ten or twelve.

I honestly couldn't see what was wrong. The kitchen had been decorated in deep red and gold colors, just as I had instructed the house-elves. And there was a beautifully set table in the middle, complete with flickering scented candles and glistening crystal ware.

Really. The house-elves had done a superb job. The kitchens looked straight out of a fancy-shmancy restaurant.

"Did you decorate this by yourself?"

"Erm…I drew up the plans. But, you know, the elves might have helped a tad."

Lily reddened, and snapped, "You prick! I can't believe you! After you _know _much I detest slavery, you go on ahead and use it anyway!"

"I did _not _know! You never told me! And _newsflash_! The house-elves _like _working for us!"

Lily witheringly retorted, "Even though all those protest posters with my name in three-inch letters are hanging all throughout the castle?" She had chosen to ignore my last statement.

Now that she mentioned it…I recall snickering with Sirius a few weeks ago over one of them. And him charming them to read, "House-Elves Declare Work as Pleasure".

"Erm…"

Lily informed me, "If you can't even put in some elbow grease for our date, then maybe this relationship is a huge mistake."

WHAT?

_Oh no, she didn't!_

She did.

"Do you _know _how much I worked on this?" I exploded at her. "I was bloody stressed out of mind the last _twenty-four _hours! I was literally kicking myself when I couldn't think if anything! Then I worked on my _hair_, which I have never done in my life, for twenty-five minutes! Then I put in eighteen minutes of research! And you say I haven't worked at all? Maybe this relationship is a mistake because _you _can't appreciate _me_."

Lily gawked at me.

I scowled at her.

Then we noticed the frightened, pale house-elves hovering near the entrance, and their low, anxious squeaky voices.

And look back at each other.

A smile twitched on Lily's lips, "You put in twenty-five minutes working on your hair?"

I nodded.

She burst out laughing, "James! That's more time then I took getting ready! And did you seriously _research _for our date?"

I nodded again.

"James, love, I would've gladly gone out with you even if you hadn't showered for the past year and all we did was scrub trophies for Filch. But my one peeve is enslavement of a species, and you just had to push that certain button!"

I frowned, "Really?"

"Well…maybe the whole showering thing is an exaggeration, but that's the certain gist of it."

Huh. All this time I could've just made an appointment with Filch. Merlin, I worked myself up for nothing.

Girls.

Can't live with them, can't live without 'me.

"So, what should we do?"

Lily looked around the room again and smiled, "It _would _be a dreadful waste to let this all go to nothing. I reckon I can let up for tonight. Just tonight. But I plan on holding another protest rally tomorrow."

"Right this way, then."

And after that, our date was pure magic.

Well, except for the part where Lily threw a cherry and cream tart at my head on account of me _casually _suggesting that we hold out next date here as well.

And the part where she drenched me with pumpkin juice after I chuckled at her when she screeched at the sight of the spider on the wall.

But other than that, it was pure magic.

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**Author's Notes**

**Hey. The original plan was to end this here, but I can't help but feel it's incomplete. That I should do some more on the Marauder's friendship and Lily and James' (new) relationship.**

**If you guys feel the same way, please drop an email. Because I don't want to drag this on if no one would want to read it.**

**On lighter note, the Round Robin IS UP TODAY! It's called A Fork in the Eye by the Round Robin Ducklings. PLEASE check it out!  
**

**Kisses,**

**Celina **


	12. Chapter 12

**Confessions of a Marauder**

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_On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!_

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Let's get one fact straight. This line is supposed to be menacing, but you can't exactly write in a menacing manner.

_James Potter is not a pushover_.

Alright, so I'm sitting on a chair, handing out home-baked cookies and pamphlets while my girlfriend is making a passionate speech on the rights of magical creatures, e.g. house-elves. And I know that I'm supposed to be coolest guy in Hogwarts, which I am, and that no self-respecting bloke would be caught in my position.

However, my girlfriend informed me yesterday that I would be "volunteering" to help her today, so here I am.

Great. A huge gaggle of girls just passed by me, giggling.

Girls _may _say that they like sensitive guys, but no girl really means it. They all want the typical bad-boy-type who exudes indifference. Apparently, this makes girls long to get under his skin and force him to care about her.

Psh. I don't care, anyhow, seeing as how I have a perfectly beautiful and nice girlfriend who's also been the love of my life, or at least the past seven years.

Anyways, I'm not too chuffed about wasting a perfectly good Saturday evening, but Lily's really into all this, so I figured I'd play the role of a supporting boyfriend.

She was so pleased, she started snogging me in the middle of the Great Hall during breakfast. All the students were gaping at us; apparently, everyone still thought she hated me. No one knew she was just in denial.

"James?"

Lily smiled at me, "James, I really appreciate you helping out with the cause."

I popped a still-warm cookie in my mouth, chewing blissfully, "No problem. Always glad to assist my gorgeous girlfriend."

"Not to mention you get to be around cookies all day." Lily dryly commented.

Shrugging, I agreed, "That too."

"Anyways, I think my speech was really powerful today. Fifteen students signed up for a rally outside of the Ministry. You're coming too, aren't you?"

Er…

Well, I'd have to suffer in the cold wind of December, outside, walking around, waving a sign in the air. Let's add the fact that house-elves probably don't even _want _the rights I'd be doing all this for, and you come up with the fact that doing this is completely pointless.

Yeah. Not fun.

"Um, I might have Quidditch practice. You know, Gryffindor being in first place and all." Thank Merlin for Dumbledore making me Captain. I can now schedule practices whenever I want.

Rolling her eyes, Lily asked, "So you won't rally with me because your arse might freeze off, but when it comes to playing Quidditch in the same weather, you're all for it?"

McGonagall always fell for that one. Then again, I doubt anyone cares more than her about Gryffindor winning. Even though she pretends to care less, you know she probably polishes the trophy every day in her office.

"Well, it sounds horrible when you say it like that. I prefer to think of it as me having different priorities than you." I defensively stated.

Lily laughed, "Yeah, I know. Anyways, it's cool that you like Quidditch so much. I mean, I could have it worse, right? I could have a sex-addict for a boyfriend."

Now would not be a good time to mention my dream from last night.

"Yeah, lucky you." I coughed.

Running a hand through her red hair, Lily softly asked, "Did you talk to Sirius yet?"

Frowning, I remembered last night. I had used our two-way mirrors to talk to Sirius. He was right miserable at home; his mum was constantly on his case to join the Dark Side, his father was in Azkaban for making the mistake of listening to his Mum, Regulus was still refusing to listen to Sirius and leave the Dark Side, and Kreacher was going mad.

Sirius seriously told me, "I'm going to run away, James. I swear, if I have to hear about how Voldemort is the best thing that ever happened since Salazar Slytherin, I'm going to bash someone."

"You're only sixteen, Sirius! Where would you go?" I demanded, worried.

Shiftily, Sirius responded, "I thought I'd go to your place, actually. Not for long—my sick uncle told me he was leaving me a fortune in his will. He's a decent guy, but Mum hates him. Calls him a 'Mudblood-lover'."

Typical Mrs. Black behavior.

"Yeah…yeah, that's cool. Mum adores you, Padfoot. My parents will take you in, no worries." I smiled reassuringly at him through the mirror.

Sirius stared back, his eyes seeming darker than usual, "You've got it made, Prongs. Great parents, great girlfriend, great grades, Quidditch Captain. There's you—and there's me. I'll probably just die during a battle and no one will even care. But that's how I want to die. I want to die doing something worthwhile, not hiding from Deatheaters or on a bed, like my Uncle. I want to die _alive_."

Even his words were darker. The night he almost killed Snape, a part of Sirius died. The part that was childlike, the part with the barking laughter and handsome smirks. The part who indulged in flying motorcycles and dating random girls. The part who used to be my best friend.

He had changed into a darker stranger that I didn't recognize.

At the same time, I still caught a glimpse of his old nature. For some reason, he still hated Snape, even after knowing what he did. A hatred that was sixteen years old didn't die easily. I believed that Sirius would always hate Snape. Snape represented the Dark Side for him, especially since he was the one to snatch Regulus away from him.

Snape was just everything Sirius feared in human form. Snape was an unloved outcast, radiating towards the Dark Side, power-hungry and cruel. Basically, Sirius was afraid of that he might become like Snape in the future.

It was reassuring to hate him because it insured that Sirius would never be tempted into joining the Dark Side and becoming like Snape.

"Yeah, I talked to Sirius. He's…weird. It's like I don't know him anymore." I answered Lily's question.

Lily stared at me, "Do you still trust him? More than Remus and Peter?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Sirius…he's loyal. He'd never, ever go against his friends, no matter how much he's changed. We're everything for him, he has no one else but us."

Wistfully, Lily sighed, "I wished I had a friend like that. None of the girls really understand me, and we aren't really friends, more like someone to talk to during classes and meals."

I smiled, "Remus and Sirius are your friends. They love you, you know. More than any girl I've ever known."

Lily snorted, "Please. Sirius hates me. Of course, he's entitled to it, seeing as how I was a complete idiot earlier this year. I can't believe I accused him of being a Deatheater. And Remus is…quiet. I could never imagine opening up to him, it seems like he's unreachable, someone I'll never understand."

Lightly, I commented, "Remus has an unhappy life, so he likes to distance himself from others. But he's a good guy, really."

I watched Lily nod in agreement and wondered briefly about Peter. He was so dependable. Not in a good way, though, since he just followed whoever would protect him. But I trust him because he understands that I've done a lot for him- more than anyone else.

I suppose in all of my friends, I'd probably trust Sirius and Peter more than Remus. Remus was a bit distanced, and I was never sure of what he was thinking. Like Lily said, he was unreachable. And it's understandable, since he has problems that I couldn't dream of dealing with. But still.

Ashamed, I realized I was falling into the trap of discriminating against werewolves. At the same time, I reminded myself that werewolves were hardly ever loyal or good.

I wanted to trust Remus, but I couldn't.

"So, James, you're coming to Hogsmeade with me, right?"

Smiling, I turned to Lily and kissed her soundly. After six years, she was mine. After six years of begging her to come with me on one date, she wanted my company.

A lot changed this year, but that's probably the best change of my life.

The second best? Realizing how everyone has faults, like Lily. And how everyone has merits as well, like Snape.

And I seriously have to thank Sirius for this diary. I hate to admit it, but writing in one grows on you until you cannot live without the hardcover, dragon-skin book.

I guess this diary had taught me not to judge a book by its cover.

Pun _fully _intended.

I am a Marauder, after all.

A Marauder in love.

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**Author's Notes**

**OK. This story is officially done. **

**HOWEVER, before you start flaming me, I've also decided to do random one-shots based on this story. They'll be short and quick, and little snippets of their future.**

**The first one's out already: Confession of a Marauder in Love.**

**Right now, I'll be working solely on Breaking Free and Depruding. I'll start working on Confessions of Oblivious Head Girl after those are finished. Crime and Punishment will probably have a chapter up in a month or so, but not too regular. I don't really like it, actually.**

**Depruding has only three chapters or so left, it's a short one.**

**Anyways, read the Round Robin under the penname: The Round Robin Ducklings. The title is Fork in the Eye.**

**That's pretty much it! **

**PLEASE review this one last chapter for CoM! I'm really sad this is over, since this is probably my favorite story that I've done. **

**My baby's all grown up….**

**Anyways, quick shout out to MissCheviousHP and Tracey! You two are the best reviewers EVER!**

**And I can't forget Angelic Chocolate Fairy, animerocksjapanrocks, The Big Dance, jeevesandwooster, ellieo, SerenityRose016, LJ Fan, Danu3, SweetRomanceGirl, Goddess of the MaaN, Captain Arianna Trouble, AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO EVER REVIEWED!

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**You guys rock, seriously. I can NOT believe I broke 270. Let's break 300, hint hint.

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**Anyways, REVIEW and write to you later. Drop me an email if you're bored.**

**Kisses,**

**Celina Black**


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